Youth Guide

The Equality Fight is Far From Over, Part 2

It’s only been a little under a month since the landmark Supreme Court ruling opened the doors for same-sex marriage in all 50 states. And since then, the fires of discrimination and prejudice are still burning brightly. Oh, some people are busy talking about how a decision that affects two people they don’t even know infringes on their rights. Thankfully, we live in a country where things can’t be decided based on a majority religion.

But setting aside marriage, there are plenty of areas for us to fight for. Even if you’re not thinking about getting married yet, there are issues that affect you as you grow up, go into the workforce, and even when you start looking for suitable housing.

In 29 states, you can be denied service at a hotel or another establishment, simply because of your sexual orientation. Yes, that’s right: you can get legally married, but if the hotel doesn’t want you to sleep there with your new spouse, they don’t have to allow it. This is the case even after gay marriage is now legalized in all states. Some say that it’s perfectly fine to discriminate along these lines. However, if a sign outside a hotel said “We only serve men” or “Asians only, please”, that would be absolutely unacceptable. What if there was a sign that only atheists could stay at the hotel, and Christians had to go somewhere else? Christians would take to every radio show possible to decry such a thing. Yet it’s OK to do this to gay people?

This is where people say, “Well, you choose to be this way!” We disagree with the idea that one chooses their sexual orientation. Some people are gay, some people are straight, others are bisexual, and some are transgendered. The idea that anyone would choose to visibly identify with a group that’s targeted for a wide array of discriminatory practices is absurd. Why would anyone want to risk being bullied, alienated, denied jobs, pushed out of clubs, refused services, or even viciously beaten if they could avoid it? [Read more…]

Gay Marriage Is Legal, But There’s Still Work To Do

By Webmaster

On June 26th of this year, gay marriage became legal in all 50 states. That’s right, you read that right; every single state. So even if you live in Mississippi, you can still marry your partner. Happily ever after, right? Homophobia died on the same day that same-sex marriage became legal, right?

Of course not. In fact there are multiple county clerks around the country resigning and otherwise protesting the changes made based on their religious convictions. It is shocking that anyone in this day and age would bring their religion into a civil matter? Not really, because they do so every single day.

This is the reason why gay pride parades exist. Not necessarily because people are showing off how proud they are to be homosexual, but rather that they are fighting for the basic right of celebration and enjoyment that everyone else enjoys. No one thinks twice about a heterosexual romance movie, but sparks fly when the two love interests are of the same sex. It’s this odd taboo that we still have in this country.

Let’s be clear about something: gay marriage is legal, but that doesn’t mean that the fight is over. Many of you are reading this while still in high school or college. So marriage might not be on the horizon, and that’s okay. Just because you can now go to the courthouse and get married doesn’t mean that you have to go out and do so. There will always be a segment of the gay community that doesn’t marry, for its own reasons. Some people feel that they don’t need legal marriage in order to have the partnership they want. Other people feel that it’s critical they get married. [Read more…]

Give Every Student The Customized Assistance They Deserve

By Webmaster

Who says that help has to be a bad thing? These days, people talk about the educational system in such a way that makes it sound like a student is “bad” or “in trouble” if they need help. But as an American in Sweden sending her two beautiful mixed-culture children to school here in Stockholm, I realize there are many problems with this statement.

You see, I’ve had the benefit of seeing both educational systems in action, both here and back in the States. The schools here in Sweden are fantastic, and every student truly feels like they’re getting the attention they need and deserve. But no matter how much time you spend with a student, they’re bound to run into a problem that they can’t solve on their own. As a parent, watching your child be frustrated by a problem they just can’t figure out is heartbreaking.

Yet there’s another issue that comes up all too often: the student that has stellar performance, but seems a bit lost as to how to continue. That student tends to fall through the cracks far too often, because a teacher’s concern is making sure that everyone understands the material. That’s true here, as well as back in the States. The reality here is that we need to be able to address both students, yet we only have enough time to address one.

So, how do we address both problems at once? We have to start looking into private solutions, rather than trust the state school system to handle everything.

My oldest child has difficulty in figuring out what he should focus on next, and it’s caused him to be pretty indifferent about school lately. However, I looked into a private option most don’t think about or even know about: Allakando.se. This site features professionals that actually work with students of all levels. So if your student is struggling in one or more classes, these people can help you out. Likewise if your student is passing everything with great performance, but they just need a little more challenge.

Good homework help isn’t about giving a student all of the answers, or doing it all for them. It’s about meeting the student at their level and helping them succeed. What’s great about allakando is that they go out of their way to help as many students as they can — over 5400 students a year, to be exact. If you live in a decently populated area, the teachers will come out and give private lessons directly to your students. Since we live in Stockholm, I just had a private tutor come in after school a few times a week.

Using services like this are great when you want to give your child a few additional tools they can use for success no matter what. This company has teachers for all courses, and you can meet the teachers in a public place if that would make you more comfortable. The first few times they came out, I met with them at the library. Both of my children received private teaching lessons at the library, but each child received a bit different instruction, tailored to their needs.

We all love to give gifts to our children and spoil them from time to time. This is one gift that you can shower your children with that will affect their education for many years to come. Check it out today!

Gay Marriage Comes to South Dakota – Finally!

By Webmaster

The fight for marriage equality shouldn’t be this hard. After all, it’s not like anyone’s asking straight people to suddenly take on a gay partner forever and ever. It’s merely an acknowledgement that other people want to have the same rights that many straight people take for granted. Alas, the battle for equal rights is going to be a long and very drawn out one. But today we have some great news. A federal judge in South Dakota ruled that a ban on gay marriage is simply unconstitutional, and gay marriages must be acknowledged by the state.

This means that couples in South Dakota can finally be acknowledged as married, after all the dust clears.

We keep seeing sharp comments around news articles, questioning whether or not these announcements matter. We think that in order to answer that type of question, we have to look at the people affected by it. For a straight person, gay marriage is something that they can take or leave. It’s something that pops up in their news feeds on Facebook, or they see it when they read the morning newspaper offline. Maybe a coworker mentions something in the workplace, and a few people nod their heads. Free speech is a bit more curtailed at work, so the uptight coworker that thinks marriage should be between a man and woman only can’t necessarily voice their opinion. The trouble with creating a non hostile workplace is that you can’t police people all of the time. When you’re gay and trying to be a professional, it’s hard not to participate in these types of conversations. It’s difficult in part because there’s so much at stake.

When we’re talking about gay marriage, we’re actually talking about someone’s future. We’re talking about the natural inheritance rules that are limited to only a chosen set. The gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered among us don’t get to have a legally binding wedding. This means that there’s always a chance for a legal battle. How could anyone say that’s okay? What happens if one partner dies? Are you going to fight for gay rights when it’s time for the surviving life partner to take those assets and keep them for the next generation? Gay couples want to adopt children, another issue that tends to light people up. They make the argument that gays shouldn’t adopt because they can’t get married. Now gay marriage is slowly but surely being taken off the table. Now what is the excuse for not allowing gay adoptions?

We see articles that talk endlessly of the concern that children raised by gay couples will turn out to be far more dysfunctional, but no one ever stops to think about if that’s the case for the children born to straight people.

It’s a nasty double standard, and it needs to end in 2015. But you can be part of the change movement in a few small ways. [Read more…]

Support for Transgender Youth is More Important Than Ever

By Webmaster

What does it mean to be transgender? We’ve heard it described a few different ways but one description rings in our heads the most: like being born in a bad costume that you can never, ever take off without undergoing intense pain. You know that if someone describes being transgender like that it’s time to pay attention. Unfortunately, we’re not paying attention. Being gay, lesbian, or bisexual has its share of challenges, and we’ve talked about them endlessly in the past. But what does it mean to be transgender, and why are we ignoring the problem?

We think that the conversation on transgender youth needs to definitely be out there. It’s okay to be LGBT, and that definitely includes transgender. But when you have no articles discussing your lifestyle, it’s hard to feel included at the table. We’ve read some reader feedback about this, and felt it was time to correct the situation. Since we’re not transgender, we apologize for any hurt feelings that the lack of inclusion may have caused.

Being transgender means a complex series of decisions. Do you consider yourself a male or a female? Do you want to look at gender reassignment surgery? Do you want to dress as a woman, but keep the genitals of a man? There’s no easy answer here, and there’s no wrong answer either.

As a society, we need to allow the discussion to take on more than just genitals and dresses. We also need to highlight transgendered people in the media. Laverne Cox is speaking out about transgender issues. She is an MTF transgender activist and actress who wants the world to accept transgendered people as who they are, rather than as whom the world thinks they should pretend to be. Media representation is the fastest way to increase people’s view of transgender issues, but it’s also a way that criticism creeps in. People tend to reject what they don’t understand. Unfortunately, gay and lesbian people tend to also be in that category. We have to embrace transgender people as allies, not as enemies. We’re all in the same battle. Don’t you want them to have the same freedoms that you enjoy? The “gay agenda” has enjoyed a long time in the sun, but there’s room in the sun for everyone’s issues. We don’t have to pick and choose, though it can feel that way at times. Throw in subjects of race, class, and disability, and the conversation gets even more complicated. [Read more…]