Why is this article titled with “relationship” rather than partner? Because it’s more than just the person. When you decide that you want to enter a relationship with a member of the same sex, you’re stepping onto a battlefield. We wish that it weren’t that way, but take it from us — it is a battlefield, with plenty of opponents. There will be a lot of eyes on you, whether you like it or not. And you can get sucked into a national movement going on without really wanting to be involved. We know that you’d rather just enjoy the peace that straight couples get, but that won’t be happening for a long time. People are very worried about the LGBT scene and feel that it contributes to a “moral decay” of their society.
Boring. The truth is that people are sticking their noses where they shouldn’t, and it hinders your ability to have a fulfilling relationship. But “hinders” doesn’t mean “not possible at all”, it just means that there are some obvious challenges to your first “real” relationship.
Fight From Where You Are
If you’re going to pursue this, you need to fight from where you are right now, rather than where you think you want to be. So if you’re dreaming about a relationship coming into fruition once you have a job or a house or a nice car…keep dreaming. Love doesn’t work that way at all. You need to think more about how you’re going to take care of yourself, take care of someone else, and work together with them to create a great life. That might mean living in a cramped apartment but being able to curl up and watch your favorite television shows at any time you want. It also might mean living out in a more isolated area but being able to watch the stars come out every night. There are so many little sacrifices that we don’t think about when we’re in love and happy, because we’re committed to making it work.
So fight from where you are instead of dreaming big right from the start. You’ll have plenty of time to dream together with someone great.
It’s the same concept behind going out and finding someone to be with at your current weight instead of dreaming about being smaller or more muscular. If one person doesn’t find you attractive, you can bet that other people are going to find you attractive. You just have to make sure that you’re pushing through all of your options and not giving up for a single instant.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
Go where the people are. If you have LGBT meetups, that’s even better. Getting to know someone in a space that’s safe is always the best way forward. Don’t settle for the first person that says hello! Not everyone in our community wants the same things, and you may be pressured into doing things that you don’t want to do. It is never a crime to say no and back away. Don’t even let anyone make you feel like you have to “put out” or “give it up” in order to earn their affection. Those are the type of people that will leave you high and dry when things get rough.
You have to set yourself up for success and push forward to a better day, on every level. Cultivating more positive energy will make you much more appealing to potential partners. Everyone likes the person that always has a joke or something witty to say. If you aren’t that person right now, don’t worry. The more you dig into the current trends of the day, news, and even literature, the more interesting you’ll sound. Dig into the history of a region, the food of a culture, and the way people live their lives. Get interested in the world around you, because the last thing any of us need are more entitled people. Volunteer and give your time to causes that you stand for.
Make Moves That Work
The fun part of socializing is that you get to make people feel good, but the downside is that sometimes you feel like youíre playing to an empty house. You’re trying to find someone that resonates with you, and that’s far from an overnight thing. You just need to think about your options in terms of what’s going to work well for you and what isn’t. In other words, if you don’t say anything, how will anyone know anything about you?
Don’t get lost in the details. Go out, have fun, and then go from there. Let someone dazzle you with their personality as much as you dazzle them. Even though you’re looking for a same sex partner, you still deserve to expect the same romantic treatment as straight couples experience. Hold out for someone that truly thinks you’re special, and you’ll be a thousand times happier than someone that settled because the other person was “just there”. Trust us, we know these things!
