Youth Guide - Leadership & wellness for all youth

How to Cope with Being Excluded after Coming Out

So, the big day is here. You decided that you’re no longer going to hide your orientation and/or identity from your circle of influence. What’s a circle of influence, you might ask/ Well, that would be your friends, family, coworkers, the people that you volunteer with, the church that you attend, and anywhere else that you frequent often. There are a lot of people that are going to be aware of your “new” status, so planning how to speak out is important.

But you hit a snag as you let the news out: some people take it well, but other people do not at all. They suddenly don’t feel like they should spend much time with you. This hurts. There’s no other way to say it. The pain of being excluded hurts. You start wondering if they were just looking for a reason to get rid of you. The pain can bring in another round of depression which can quickly get out of control.

So we wanted to encourage you. After all, you might feel that coming out was a mistake. If people are going to just exclude you, what’s the point? [Read more…]

Navigating College after Coming Out

By Webmaster

College is such a great opportunity. Not only can you learn new things, but you can work towards building an awesome career. Yes, we know that the college experience isn’t the same as it was several years ago. Goi9ng to school doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily have a job waiting for you after the end of it. Remember when everyone was pressured to go to law school? Well, now there are tons of lawyers, but there aren’t necessarily tons of law jobs for them. Taking on big student loans for a job that may not be there at the end of it is the last thing that you should do.

But what if you want to go to college for the thrill of knowledge? The chance to study something you love around other people that are doing the same thing is great. But you might worry about how your orientation will play a role in college.

We spoke to several gay college students about student life on campus. The good news is that the LGBT issue isn’t really an issue at most schools. Just as we realize that people come from all walks of life, we also realize that there are other orientations at play. There are men who love men, women who love women, people that don’t identify as any particular gender, and everything in between. We believe that the LGBT community should be an open tent for all people, an alternative community that is open and welcome to everyone.

Give yourself a chance to enjoy something great and check out our tips for navigating college after coming out.

1. Be Positive

What type of friend would you like? Chances are good that you want to make friends that are positive, upbeat and open. But if you don’t lean towards thinking about the lighter side of life, you may end up giving yourself a tough time ahead. We know that it’s hard to be happy all of the time, but you do need to take time to appreciate the things you have. We can all think of other people that might not have our circumstances. If you’re struggling with mental health issues, make sure that you get in touch with a professional. We attract people that align with who we are, so if you find that you get a lot of negative people, you’ll need to start adjusting your attitude. [Read more…]

6 Things You might not think about when choosing a College – But Should

By Webmaster

Choosing a college is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life. When you will be spending at least a couple years, and thousands of dollars, on something, you want to make sure you make sure it’s the perfect fit.

You most likely have some priorities when it comes to choosing your school. Obviously, you want to go to a school that offers a great education in the subject you’ve chosen to study. Extracurricular activities and sports might be important to you, or maybe you’re more interested in the cultural options nearby. Housing and social environment are always important, and of course, the cost. The list goes on, and everyone has different expectations for their college experience.

That being said, there are a few considerations that can potentially make or break the college experience that tend to be overlooked. They might not seem important right now, but are likely to matter over time.

1. Hidden Costs

College are generally upfront about the costs of attendance, including tuition, room and board, and fees, and when you budget for your education, you know to include costs for books, lab fees, and the like. But what about the other costs of college that you might not think about? For example, if you choose a college on the other side of the country, how will you get home for holidays and breaks? Will you need to store your belongings over the summer instead of bringing it all home? The cost of living in different areas can vary as well, which can take a bite out of your budget. These expenses can add up, so think about how you’ll manage them before making your decision.

2. Opportunities After Graduation

The rate of students who are employed or heading to graduate school is likely important to you as you compare schools. You want to know that you will be able to achieve your goals post-graduate, but when you look at those numbers, pay attention to where students are getting jobs or going to school. Consider whether you will be able to get into the best online MBA program or land a great job in your field – where you want to work. There’s a good chance that your school’s career services department will have a great placement record, but many of those jobs will be regional. In other words, if you go to school in Boston, expect to see recruiters and job-listings from Boston-based companies. That’s great if you want to stay in New England after graduation, but if you aren’t interested in sticking around after graduation, expect to do more of the legwork yourself. [Read more…]

Addressing Disability Within The LGBT Community

By Webmaster

One of the nice things about being part of the LGBT community is that it’s incredibly diverse. Yet diversity isn’t just about race, of course. Issues of disability can pop up in the community, leaving room for very awkward pauses. The truth is that we have to do more than just tolerate people with disabilities; we have to embrace them as full-fledged members of this community. People assume that someone with a disability doesn’t have any interest in relationships, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, it makes sense. Say you lose your arm tomorrow. Does this mean that you no longer have a desire to be with your gay partner? Not at all.

It’s a great idea to start looking at disability issues, because it’s up to all of us to be great advocates for each other. The more attention that you give towards handling everyone with respect, the more likely it is that respect will be paid back to you.

Here are three tips to keep in mind if you’re going to be a strong advocate for disabled LGBTs.

1. Let Go of Stereotypes

Hollywood is full of stereotypes with disabled people. Not every disabled person wants to break world records or stand out. They’re regular people living everyday lives, and they want their feelings respected. Assuming that someone lives a wildly radical life simply because they’re disabled is disrespectful. Instead of stereotypes, focus on what they want as individuals. [Read more…]

The Semicolon Project is Awesome – Here’s Why

By Webmaster

A semicolon represents a time where you could finish a sentence, but you choose to just add a little more. It’s become not just a cliché, but an empowering battle cry for people dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. It’s always unfortunate to hear about someone thinking about such a tragic topic, but it definitely happens more than you might think. In the LGBT community, many teens struggle with body image, fitting in, and trying to be accepted. When you have a stable support circle willing to take care of you, then this is pretty easy. But when you struggle to find people that love and care for you, it can be hard to even get out of bed in the morning. Some people lose their battle with depression, choosing to end their lives in order to stop the pain completely. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but when that temporary problem is all you can think of, it takes over your life.

The Semicolon Project is about drawing a permanent or temporary semicolon somewhere that you can see it. It’s a reminder to yourself that while you could choose to end your life, it’s so amazing that you choose to keep going. [Read more…]