Youth Guide

Leadership & wellness for all youth

Treat Your Gay Partner to Something Nice During Tax Season

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Tax refunds coming in? We know the feeling. It’s exciting. If you already have your finances in order, there’s nothing wrong with splurging. There are just times where you need to show your partner that you really care for them, and this can be done by spending a little money. There’s nothing wrong with controlled spending as long as you’re willing to cut the spending when it’s time to go back to the normal way of living. There are so many different things that you can do to make your partner feel like you really care about them.

It’s all about knowing your partner. Do they like the little things in life that have meaning? You might want to go with a small gift. You might want to take them out to their favorite restaurant and just let them order whatever they want. That can make them feel pretty special.

We focus a lot of guides on what straight couples do, but the truth is that you can have good finances; good romance, and still be in a gay couple. It’s completely up to you to figure all of those details out.

It’s a lifestyle, people. One isn’t better than the other. That’s the whole point of equal rights — it gives us all an equal chance at having happiness. There’s no reason to think that you can’t spend any money together.

Of course, if you’re sharing finances now, you might want to make sure that you’re talking things out. You might want to do a lot of shopping once that tax refund check hits, but you have to step back and make sure that this is something that your partner really agrees with. Otherwise, you’re opening the door for another argument and that’s not the best way to take things further. You have to make sure that you’re thinking about both parties.

Your partner probably does want to spoil you too, so don’t be surprised if some of your favorite places come up into the conversation. There’s no reason to feel like it’s going to be a conflict just because you want to do some shopping.

Keep the conversation light and casual and you never know — there may be a way to get both of you something nice, when you really put your mind to it!

How Do Same-Sex Couples Treat Their Tax Returns

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Trying to plan for a same sex partnership is already difficult, but the pressure of tax season makes it even worse. As much as you love being with your partner, you probably have a hard time dealing with the trouble brewing around your income taxes. Even if you live in a state that recognizes same sex marriage or domestic partnership, you will still have to deal with federal tax issues. The state tax returns are based off of federal tax return information. And thanks to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the government does not recognize same-sex marriage nationwide, and neither does the IRS. So this means that couples cannot file jointly, which is definitely making tax life complicated. Same sex couples have to shell out a lot more money to be protected, which takes away money from the shared household.

And community property states mean even more complications. Many couples fear their returns being rejected because all of the numbers don’t match up all of the time. The preparer has to use a mock joint federal tax return, then use the “mock” return to prepare a joint state tax return. There’s still the danger of things being rejected, but it’s a risk many couples just have to take.


Refunds are also not very quick. Most same sex couples have to file paper returns, which slows down their refund dramatically — some couples have even had to wait nearly 10 months just to get their return. That’s a very long time, and it can really add up when you’re trying to really get bigger things done in your life.

Everything seems higher — health insurance costs, tax preparer costs, and the time that you have to wait for your refund. However, there are some light at the end of the tunnel. This is a problem that’s spiraling out of control, and many advocacy groups are now fighting hard for change sin tax legislation. So there could come a day where taxes flow as smoothly as they do for heterosexual married couples.

Is it possible? Yes. Will change come slowly? It often does. Hang in there!