You need to make sure that you reach for your own happiness. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t even need to say this. However, the world that we live in is far from perfect, and that means that we have moments where we just don’t get things to connect properly. We get to a point where we really want things to be different…but is it ever?

Is it a point in time where you really get things moving in the right direction? Of course there is. As a gay teen, you need to realize that there’s a world of options waiting for you. You don’t have to sit in silence or in fear, thinking that you’re not worth it. You are absolutely worth it. Why feel like you can’t make anything connect together?

You are worth more than you think, and there’s no reason to assume that you’re not. You just need to want to do more with life than what you have. If you aren’t thinking about getting more out of life right now, there’s no time like the present to start.

 

What you need to do is start connecting with hobbies that are really going to make you happy. Some people like to draw, others like to paint, and many more like to play music. You’ll find something that works for you, but you do have to look around. The library is a great way to learn about the different stuff that people do as a hobby. I’m not trying to mock you, but maybe you don’t have the same opportunities that other people have. That doesn’t mean that we’re going to make fun of you. Not at all. On the contrary, we would definitely like to see you enjoy the same good time as everyone else. There’s no reason to feel shamed merely because you don’t have the same footing that everyone else has. Of course, it only feels like everyone knows these things. Everyone started out just as clueless as you — they just don’t want to admit it.

You also need to think about trying to get a way to look at what you want to do long term. Are you in a small town? You’re going to want to try to do everything you can to get out of there and towards a city. Even though the cost of living is going to be higher, the reality is that you’re going to have a lot more opportunity than if you’re in a tiny place that has the same beliefs across the board. Once it’s known that you’re gay, you’re not going to have that much time to establish yourself. Most things in a small town are based on relationships, which is why it can be so harmful to come out in a small place. If people feel that you’re suddenly unworthy, they can’t expect you to do anything for them. It’s all about value — the more people value us, the more that they’re willing to actually pay. [Read more…]

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.

First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Coming out is a pretty tricky thing, especially when you are a gay teenager. It might be easy for some that have a good support structure, but the experience is never the same across the board. If you really want to make sure that you are building the support network that truly works for you, you’re going to have to eventually “come out” to the people that you trust.

Assembling people that love you is pretty easy, but the situation gets complicated when you start realizing how many people are at odds with the GLBT community. Suddenly your standing with certain people in your life may change, and that can be a really sad experience. Instead of feeling like you have to hold this awful secret (which isn’t awful, by the way), you can let it out and step into the life that you were always meant to have.

The first thing you need to do is try to find someone that is already “out”. There are meetups for gay teens where you can connect. Even if you’re not trying to get into a new gay relationship, you should still consider going to these meetups. They really are a wonderful way to connect with people that have a common lifestyle thread with you. You will be able to find someone that you can come out to.

Just having one person know that you are gay can help ease any type of tension that you have on your mind. The other good part about starting slow is that you can get help on how to present the information to your family.

It’s very common for the families of gay teenagers to be a little surprised. They might feel like you are in the wrong to come out with such a big secret, but the truth is that you cannot absorb their feelings — no matter how tempted you are. They might feel that it’s a fad that you’re going through, but that might not be the case at all. Only you can determine if this is something that you’re going to explore for a long time, or something that you’ll eventually grow out of.

But right now, in the present moment, you really need to understand that there is nothing wrong with you. You are wonderful just the way you are, and if people cannot accept you in your new gay life, then they really aren’t quite the people that you thought they would be.

Putting these tips into practice might be difficult, but don’t worry — we’re just getting started on helping you out! Check back regularly for plenty of articles!