Youth Guide

Leadership & wellness for all youth

Getting Into the College Experience As a Gay Freshman

By

Going off to attend college should be a pretty exciting time. You’re taking the time to really invest in the business of you, and who can really say that it’s a bad thing for you to do that. Once you come out as a gay teen and then go to college, you’re going to be switching environments. Even in the most conservative cities, the college environment is pretty liberal. You’re going to find people from all over the world and from many different walks of life. You’re going to need to let go of any past thoughts or worries keeping you from living the life that you really want. Here’s what you need to consider.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that your roommate is going to be gay. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to suddenly be something different. You should probably just let them know the things that you would want anyone else to know. If they aren’t comfortable with your partner coming to spend time with you at the room, there are plenty of other places to hang out on campus. As you get used to campus life, you’ll be able to find more places to hang out. And there is almost most certainly a gay hangout as well as a group that does programming specifically for the gay community.

college_experience

If someone is trying to hurt you because you’re gay, you have even more options. Crimes against gay people are hate crimes, plain and simple. But most people won’t take it to that level. There may b ea level of cattiness that is too difficult to ignore. In that case, you will definitely want to make sure that you’re focusing on the bigger picture. Is your education worth ignoring the voices of people that are being ignorant of your basic human rights? Yes, it is. That’s not to say that you should let go of everything, but there are some basics that probably don’t really need to be addressed if you need more time.

There is always a good time to stand up for yourself. There is always a good time to draw a line in the sand and live the life that you’ve always wanted to live.

But there is also a point where you just have to let go and embrace the opportunities that you have around you. There’s never going to be a perfect situation where everything goes the way that you want to. Instead of chasing that, you should look at the opportunities that you do have to connect with people that can help you build a vibrant career after you graduate! If that means staying in some nights to study so that you can complete your MBA degree online within the next year and have a lob lined up, then do it. The fruits of your labor will be greater if you focus on the bigger picture. It is still possible to have a good time throughout college and meet new people. I would even recommend going to the National Black MBA Association Conference with your business professor where you have the chance to personally meet employers who could possibly help you get your foot in the door and offer you a job as a business administrator! Good luck and have fun!

Don’t Stress – Gay Life Can Still Be Exciting!

By

When you first come out, it feels like you’re really stepping into a whole new world. The truth is that you are but there’s nothing at all wrong with this. In fact, it’s a good thing that you’re trying to find out the things that you like, rather than just hiding part of your identity.

That’s what it really is, honestly — your gay life is truly part of your identity. There is nothing in the world wrong with being gay, and it’s important that you realize that one little fact. If you take nothing else from this exercise, we hope that you take that.

The biggest thing that newly ‘outed’ gay teens need to realize is that gay life can indeed still be exciting. It’s not like the gay culture just came out of nowhere. The truth is that there are deep roots being drawn out to the surface everyday to the public. The gay culture scene has been strong in its own way since the turn of the century, with many historical references to homosexuality.


Some of the greatest writers of our modern era were gays, and they are remembered to this day for the contributions that they have made to our society as a whole.

However, you’re looking for things that you can do right now to enjoy gay life. No problem!

One of the top things that you can do is find others in your area that are doing cool things. Just because you recently come out as a confident gay teen doesn’t mean that the rest of life is going to stop. There are plenty of gays that have common interests with you — you just need to reach out and do what you’re going to do.

Gay nightclubs are popular, as well as gay vacation cruises and just about everything that you can think of. If you’re already into going out to see a play or another theater performance, you’ll definitely find other gays to connect with.

Good relationships are built on good friendships. Don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to get with someone just because they’re gay — there are just way too many gay people waiting to get to know you!

As a newly “out” teen, you may be going through a lot of different emotions. There’s no need to fight those emotions at all. You just need to dig down deep and realize that there’s really nothing at all to fear. There’s nothing at all to worry about. There’s nothing at all to run from. You’re just open about your sexual orientation and that’s it.

Are you ready to get started with the rest of your life? Then dig in, because gay life can be more exciting than you’ve ever imagined!

Bullies At School Have No Right to Hurt You – Fight Back!

By

The high school environment is such a hard time for everyone. It feels like you always have to try to prove yourself, try to get people to see the goodness that you carry around naturally, and honestly just try to get from one point to the other without losing your pride completely. Instead of feeling like you just can’t seem to make things do what you want them to do, it’s time to start thinking about the wider world of fighting for what matters most to you.

Yes, there are going to be some challenges. There are going to be people that honestly feel like they don’t have to be good to you because of your sexual orientation. While it’s true that we’ve written about this before, it’s important that you really understand this point more than anything else — no one has the right to hurt you. Words hurt. Physical confrontations hurt. And if you feel that your life is in danger, you will need to find someone that can help you get the problem taken care of.


Of course, if you haven’t come out yet, you might feel like this is going to expose you. It may do that, but the truth is that many people probably already know that you’re gay. Do you really want to risk people hurting you and causing you physical pain if you’re truly being threatened? Not at all.

What you’re going to have to honestly do is make sure that you fight back from the beginning.

Talk to a teacher and let them know that you are being bullied and you are worried. By law, they have to make sure that they acknowledge the threat and deal with it accordingly. If your teacher doesn’t seem to want to help, you can go to the department chair or the principal’s office and let them know what’s happening.

We live in a culture where some people believe that this is “snitching” and it’s wrong, but what’s more wrong is having someone take your life when you’ve done nothing remotely wrong at all.

Bullies by their very nature are extremely insecure, and they’re fighting their own battles. Yet that doesn’t mean that they get to do whatever they want. The more proactive you are about the bully issue, the easier it will be to make sure that you get to enjoy your high school years to the fullest.

Even if you’re not ready to come out yet, you’re going to find that there are actually quite a few people that would be more than happy to help you when you least expect it. Don’t feel like you can’t reach out and get help when it’s time to get help.

Otherwise, you’ll always feel like it’s impossible to move on with your life. Bullying is something that definitely leaves a mark on just about everyone it touches. There’s no reason that you should feel the need to let it affect you at all. Why not look at your support team today and see just how you can fight bullying on your own terms?

Once you grow to a level where you’re comfortable with yourself, you will truly be glad that you took the time to take this very important step!

Your First Gay Relationship – Here’s How to Work it Out!

By

Ah, love is such a wonderful thing! When you’re a gay teenager trying to feel your way through relationships, you might have a lot of thinking to do. You see, relationships are already tough as it is, then you have to also think about the gay element, so to speak. Let’s say that you find someone that you really like — you’re going to immediately think about whether or not they’re gay or straight. That can be frustrating, because you don’t want to be a walking stereotype. However, if you never take risks you’re not going to be able to find anyone and that’s not very fun either.

So, where do you go from here? Well, it depends on your approach to life in general. You might be someone that actually wants to do more internet dating, where you can really practice your responses. There are plenty of sites that cater to gay teens and young adults.

On the other hand, you might be more old fashioned. You can always look into where the local gay community hangs out and then follow suit. Hanging out in places where there are a lot of new gay people to meet and socialize with can easily lead you to someone wonderful to spend time with.

However, what if you’re already in a relationship? No problem! What you have to do from here is remember that the principles of good communication don’t care if you’re gay or straight. You’ll need to make sure that you follow these guidelines if you’re really going to have a good time with the person that matters most to you. Don’t mask problems with affection — no amount of sexual activity in the world can clear trouble. Yet you’ll soon learn that good conversation can stop a lot of problems before they get out of hand.

You should know where you stand with someone. Are they serious about you to the point where you are meeting the people that matter most to them? Do you guys hang out with each other’s friends? If not, you might find that you’re with them only in secret. That’s not a good feeling at all, and if you’re bothered by it that’s completely understandable. On the other hand, you shouldn’t feel like you have to be completely open with someone that you don’t know all that well. It’s just a matter of figuring out what your comfort zone is and going from there.

What more could you really ask for in a partner? There are quite a few things that you would do well to ask about, but you don’t have to rush through it. There’s nothing that says that you have to rush through anything that seems too “heavy”. It’s okay to have fun, especially when we’re talking about your first relationship.

Make sure that you try to work out problems before they morph into serious issues. That can’t be stressed enough.

The future looks bright for gay teens, especially as the movement has gained so much stability. You have plenty of GLBT people making good money and being in the public eye, and society at large has realized that gay people are still people who deserve love and happiness — that’s a start, right? Don’t give up on love or even just having a good time — there’s just too many opportunities out there waiting for you!

Do You Really Need to Come Out At Work?

By

Your first job is a pretty nervous time whether you’re gay or straight, but the truth is that it’s a different world when you’re entering it as a young gay adult. You feel like everyone knows that you’re gay and just own talk about it, or you might feel that your sexual orientation will keep you from getting promoted at work. So we wanted to cover the big question that you’re probably wondering, and give you a few more pieces of advice about the working world as a gay person.

First and foremost, if you’re worried about your workplace environment, you will need to find someone that you trust to talk about it. In the corporate world, this is almost certainly an HR person. You have to make sure that you know the corporate culture as it stands, rather than what you think the corporate culture should indeed stand for. This might get a little bit tricky but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Worried about coming out to HR? Don’t — the role of human resources is to understand personnel management, and you are probably not the first gay person that the HR professional has encountered. If they are older than you and have been at the company longer, they can easily become a mentor to you as you try to navigate through the twists and turns of the corporate jungle.

As far as your boss and working team go, there’s no reason to tell them that you’re gay if you can tell that they would have a problem. You have to remember that it’s all about your comfort and your ability to produce good work for the company. Your manager will not be judging you as a gay person, they’re going to be judging you as an asset of the company, and scoring you accordingly. If you are a graphic designer and you put out good work that makes the company money, then that’s what they’re going to look at you about. On the other hand, if you are so caught up in the gossip mill about your sexual orientation that you don’t think about anything else, you might find that people really are going to have problems with you at work. That’s not a good thing and it can easily have you out of work very quickly!

The biggest takeaway here is that you need to focus on your professional goals. Where do you want to be in six months? A year? Five years? Think about the people in the company that can really help you reach those goals.

If there are issues at work, you’re going to want to make sure that you reach out to people that can get the problem stopped. No one in the world has the right to bully you, so don’t forget that!