Youth Guide

What Oreo’s Gay-Friendly Facebook Post About Pride Really Means for Today’s Gay Youth

We’re angry today. You see, on the 25th of June Oreo made a statement on their Facebook page about Gay Pride and how love has no limits. That’s the real message that they were trying to present. We really liked the rainbow cookie design as well — it was crisp, it was bold, and it was perfect.

This has to be one of our favorite messages from a big company, right up there with JCPenney’s gay-friendly Father’s Day ad — very nice. They also did a gay-friendly Mother’s Day ad as well.

Still, the commentary on the Facebook post in question heated up. Many with feelings against the gay movement made their feelings known, including wanting to boycott Oreo and Kraft in general.

The idea of boycotting such a large company is honestly laughable. If you were to boycott Kraft, there are early 50 other brands that you would also need to skip in your day to day shopping. Yes, we have other issues with Kraft Foods but today, it’s just time to reflect on what this means for the gay community.

Gay teens and young adults need big companies like Kraft to talk about the movement. They need to know that what they are going through is normal. They need to know that it is quite possible to really be able to live a normal, healthy life and not worry about anything else than their own happiness.

We’re not saying that anti-gay commenters don’t have a right to their opinion. This is a free world where opinions can go both ways. America was built on free speech — but hate speech is different. You can express yourself without putting down another person. Gays have heard it all at this point, and it’s no surprise that they’re tired of being told to be quiet.

More companies are going to come out with their own Pride friendly slogans and messages for multiple reasons.

One reason is that the “gay dollar” is growing in power as well. Businesses have their agenda, let’s be honest: gays are buying and they have spending power. Upsetting such a large and growing segment of the population that is moving up in terms of status, income, and representation is a bad idea.

It’s not just pleasing gays — but also supporters of the gay movement. We are proud that our straight friends support our right to be happy, to be in love, and to be free as humans. Companies know that if they go against the gay movement too much longer, they’re going to lose straight customers.

Many of the comments were very hurtful, but they are very typical. So in the end, what does this really mean for the gay community? It simply means that you must look closely at what people really say…and ignore every last bit of it.

We’re serious. There’s no reason to let anti-gay comments stick to you. You might feel scared and alone out there, but you’re not. Don’t focus on the negative comments — focus on all of the great comments that came through the page. Focus on the number of shares that the post in question had. That’s the best way to face this head on. Don’t be afraid — you’re surrounded by more love than you can possibly imagine!

How Do Same-Sex Couples Treat Their Tax Returns

By Webmaster

Trying to plan for a same sex partnership is already difficult, but the pressure of tax season makes it even worse. As much as you love being with your partner, you probably have a hard time dealing with the trouble brewing around your income taxes. Even if you live in a state that recognizes same sex marriage or domestic partnership, you will still have to deal with federal tax issues. The state tax returns are based off of federal tax return information. And thanks to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the government does not recognize same-sex marriage nationwide, and neither does the IRS. So this means that couples cannot file jointly, which is definitely making tax life complicated. Same sex couples have to shell out a lot more money to be protected, which takes away money from the shared household.

And community property states mean even more complications. Many couples fear their returns being rejected because all of the numbers don’t match up all of the time. The preparer has to use a mock joint federal tax return, then use the “mock” return to prepare a joint state tax return. There’s still the danger of things being rejected, but it’s a risk many couples just have to take.

Refunds are also not very quick. Most same sex couples have to file paper returns, which slows down their refund dramatically — some couples have even had to wait nearly 10 months just to get their return. That’s a very long time, and it can really add up when you’re trying to really get bigger things done in your life.

Everything seems higher — health insurance costs, tax preparer costs, and the time that you have to wait for your refund. However, there are some light at the end of the tunnel. This is a problem that’s spiraling out of control, and many advocacy groups are now fighting hard for change sin tax legislation. So there could come a day where taxes flow as smoothly as they do for heterosexual married couples.

Is it possible? Yes. Will change come slowly? It often does. Hang in there!

Break Up – Keep Going With Life as a Gay Teen

By Webmaster

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.

First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Do You Need Formal Gay Marriage In Your Life

By Webmaster

One of the most contentious issues in society is the subject of gay marriage. When you’re just coming out, you might wonder about gay marriage yourself. Even if you’re far away from the topic of marriage you still want to make sure that it’s something that you can actually do.

Not every state offers gay marriage of domestic partnership. Keep in mind that these definitions and terms are representations of legal representation — not life representation.

In other words, if you meet someone that you truly do want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t just discount them because the state that you live in doesn’t recognize gay marriage. There is so much more to life than a piece of paper, or even the “acknowledgement” that comes from being able to say that the other person is your legal spouse. There are straight people getting married that don’t necessarily have a good union, either.

The truth is that humans will always want to do the things that truly make them feel connected. If you want to get married, you can indeed go to Canada or another state that handles gay marriage. If it’s important to have the recognition from another authority, then you definitely should explore this. However, you will need to ensure that you think about the life side of things as well.

Getting someone that cares about you is the much harder road to climb. It takes work to be a gay couple, especially if you don’t live in a community that’s especially supportive. Both of you will have to look at each other and really decide if this is what you both want to do.

And if it’s not, that’s not a comment about gay relationships. It’s just a reality — two people that didn’t work out together. A lot of newly “out” gay teens get into relationships and think that they have to be with their “one true love” right away and they’re a failure if they don’t do that. This is just not true at all. If you want happiness, you have to do what makes you happy in the moment. We’re never guaranteed anything like happiness.

It’s all about what we really fight for, what we really desire, and what we’re really willing to do to get what we want.

The subject of gay marriage will forever have its share of supporters as well as detractors — even within the GLBT community. You just need to figure out how to be happy through all seasons and everything else will really fall into place. Get out there and experience the best that life has to offer today!

Do You Need To Tell a Landlord that You’re Gay

By Webmaster

Your first apartment is a pretty exciting milestone in your life. There’s just no other way to say it. Having an apartment means that you’re on your way to some big and bright things, and that’s nothing to sneeze at! However, if you’ve come out proudly as a member of the gay community, you might wonder if you have to tell anyone — like your landlord.

Talking to the person that can legally evict you from their property is a pretty scary thought, especially when you’re young. Here’s a few things that you will want to definitely keep in mind.

Just because you don’t physically own the home doesn’t mean that you don’t have rights. If you’re at all worried about renting opportunities in your area, you will need to look up the tenancy laws for your state. That covers what the landlord can and cannot do. They cannot just evict you because you are openly gay. They can however evict you if you damage the property or do not pay your rent or even have someone living there who is not on the lease as a tenant or an occupant. That’s something that you might forget about, but we can promise you that your landlord will not just forget about it. So you have to make sure that you have your wits about you at every turn.

If you do have a conflict with your landlord, make sure that you keep a log of what happened, the date that it occurred, and also what actions you took to try to resolve the problem. Everything involving your landlord should be in written form as well as just a phone conversation. You need to do this because if you don’t you’ll have problems getting your natural rights as a tenant.

If you are looking at a new apartment, you can have a conversation with the landlord. Let them know that you are a good and clean person who just wants somewhere to live. Money talks more than anything else — if you’re someone that pays their bills, then what you do in your personal life is up to you. There’s no legal requirement to inform your landlord of your life as a gay person. Even if you have guests over to spend the night occasionally, that doesn’t mean that they are now occupants. You have to read your lease and make sure that you know exactly what your fights really are.

Are you ready to look for an apartment right now? The internet is really your best connection unless you live in a very small town. Then you will need to look at the newspaper. Either way, we wish you the best of luck!