Youth Guide

Leadership & wellness for all youth

How Do Same-Sex Couples Treat Their Tax Returns

By

Trying to plan for a same sex partnership is already difficult, but the pressure of tax season makes it even worse. As much as you love being with your partner, you probably have a hard time dealing with the trouble brewing around your income taxes. Even if you live in a state that recognizes same sex marriage or domestic partnership, you will still have to deal with federal tax issues. The state tax returns are based off of federal tax return information. And thanks to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the government does not recognize same-sex marriage nationwide, and neither does the IRS. So this means that couples cannot file jointly, which is definitely making tax life complicated. Same sex couples have to shell out a lot more money to be protected, which takes away money from the shared household.

And community property states mean even more complications. Many couples fear their returns being rejected because all of the numbers don’t match up all of the time. The preparer has to use a mock joint federal tax return, then use the “mock” return to prepare a joint state tax return. There’s still the danger of things being rejected, but it’s a risk many couples just have to take.


Refunds are also not very quick. Most same sex couples have to file paper returns, which slows down their refund dramatically — some couples have even had to wait nearly 10 months just to get their return. That’s a very long time, and it can really add up when you’re trying to really get bigger things done in your life.

Everything seems higher — health insurance costs, tax preparer costs, and the time that you have to wait for your refund. However, there are some light at the end of the tunnel. This is a problem that’s spiraling out of control, and many advocacy groups are now fighting hard for change sin tax legislation. So there could come a day where taxes flow as smoothly as they do for heterosexual married couples.

Is it possible? Yes. Will change come slowly? It often does. Hang in there!

Break Up – Keep Going With Life as a Gay Teen

By

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.


First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Do You Need Formal Gay Marriage In Your Life

By

One of the most contentious issues in society is the subject of gay marriage. When you’re just coming out, you might wonder about gay marriage yourself. Even if you’re far away from the topic of marriage you still want to make sure that it’s something that you can actually do.

Not every state offers gay marriage of domestic partnership. Keep in mind that these definitions and terms are representations of legal representation — not life representation.

In other words, if you meet someone that you truly do want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t just discount them because the state that you live in doesn’t recognize gay marriage. There is so much more to life than a piece of paper, or even the “acknowledgement” that comes from being able to say that the other person is your legal spouse. There are straight people getting married that don’t necessarily have a good union, either.


The truth is that humans will always want to do the things that truly make them feel connected. If you want to get married, you can indeed go to Canada or another state that handles gay marriage. If it’s important to have the recognition from another authority, then you definitely should explore this. However, you will need to ensure that you think about the life side of things as well.

Getting someone that cares about you is the much harder road to climb. It takes work to be a gay couple, especially if you don’t live in a community that’s especially supportive. Both of you will have to look at each other and really decide if this is what you both want to do.

And if it’s not, that’s not a comment about gay relationships. It’s just a reality — two people that didn’t work out together. A lot of newly “out” gay teens get into relationships and think that they have to be with their “one true love” right away and they’re a failure if they don’t do that. This is just not true at all. If you want happiness, you have to do what makes you happy in the moment. We’re never guaranteed anything like happiness.

It’s all about what we really fight for, what we really desire, and what we’re really willing to do to get what we want.

The subject of gay marriage will forever have its share of supporters as well as detractors — even within the GLBT community. You just need to figure out how to be happy through all seasons and everything else will really fall into place. Get out there and experience the best that life has to offer today!

Do You Need To Tell a Landlord that You’re Gay

By

Your first apartment is a pretty exciting milestone in your life. There’s just no other way to say it. Having an apartment means that you’re on your way to some big and bright things, and that’s nothing to sneeze at! However, if you’ve come out proudly as a member of the gay community, you might wonder if you have to tell anyone — like your landlord.

Talking to the person that can legally evict you from their property is a pretty scary thought, especially when you’re young. Here’s a few things that you will want to definitely keep in mind.


Just because you don’t physically own the home doesn’t mean that you don’t have rights. If you’re at all worried about renting opportunities in your area, you will need to look up the tenancy laws for your state. That covers what the landlord can and cannot do. They cannot just evict you because you are openly gay. They can however evict you if you damage the property or do not pay your rent or even have someone living there who is not on the lease as a tenant or an occupant. That’s something that you might forget about, but we can promise you that your landlord will not just forget about it. So you have to make sure that you have your wits about you at every turn.

If you do have a conflict with your landlord, make sure that you keep a log of what happened, the date that it occurred, and also what actions you took to try to resolve the problem. Everything involving your landlord should be in written form as well as just a phone conversation. You need to do this because if you don’t you’ll have problems getting your natural rights as a tenant.

If you are looking at a new apartment, you can have a conversation with the landlord. Let them know that you are a good and clean person who just wants somewhere to live. Money talks more than anything else — if you’re someone that pays their bills, then what you do in your personal life is up to you. There’s no legal requirement to inform your landlord of your life as a gay person. Even if you have guests over to spend the night occasionally, that doesn’t mean that they are now occupants. You have to read your lease and make sure that you know exactly what your fights really are.

Are you ready to look for an apartment right now? The internet is really your best connection unless you live in a very small town. Then you will need to look at the newspaper. Either way, we wish you the best of luck!

Getting Into the College Experience As a Gay Freshman

By

Going off to attend college should be a pretty exciting time. You’re taking the time to really invest in the business of you, and who can really say that it’s a bad thing for you to do that. Once you come out as a gay teen and then go to college, you’re going to be switching environments. Even in the most conservative cities, the college environment is pretty liberal. You’re going to find people from all over the world and from many different walks of life. You’re going to need to let go of any past thoughts or worries keeping you from living the life that you really want. Here’s what you need to consider.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that your roommate is going to be gay. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to suddenly be something different. You should probably just let them know the things that you would want anyone else to know. If they aren’t comfortable with your partner coming to spend time with you at the room, there are plenty of other places to hang out on campus. As you get used to campus life, you’ll be able to find more places to hang out. And there is almost most certainly a gay hangout as well as a group that does programming specifically for the gay community.

college_experience

If someone is trying to hurt you because you’re gay, you have even more options. Crimes against gay people are hate crimes, plain and simple. But most people won’t take it to that level. There may b ea level of cattiness that is too difficult to ignore. In that case, you will definitely want to make sure that you’re focusing on the bigger picture. Is your education worth ignoring the voices of people that are being ignorant of your basic human rights? Yes, it is. That’s not to say that you should let go of everything, but there are some basics that probably don’t really need to be addressed if you need more time.

There is always a good time to stand up for yourself. There is always a good time to draw a line in the sand and live the life that you’ve always wanted to live.

But there is also a point where you just have to let go and embrace the opportunities that you have around you. There’s never going to be a perfect situation where everything goes the way that you want to. Instead of chasing that, you should look at the opportunities that you do have to connect with people that can help you build a vibrant career after you graduate! If that means staying in some nights to study so that you can complete your MBA degree online within the next year and have a lob lined up, then do it. The fruits of your labor will be greater if you focus on the bigger picture. It is still possible to have a good time throughout college and meet new people. I would even recommend going to the National Black MBA Association Conference with your business professor where you have the chance to personally meet employers who could possibly help you get your foot in the door and offer you a job as a business administrator! Good luck and have fun!