Youth Guide

Leadership & wellness for all youth

Can You Really Dream Of Being Married Someday

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Gay marriage is a pretty hot topic, especially outside of the gay community. It is seen as still something forbidden to gays, as it has its roots in religious marriage. Is that really the case, though?

The history of marriage is something that goes far beyond recorded history. Societies all over the world have some form of marriage — even to the point where polygyny is practiced. Marriage has been traditionally about regulating access to women within a tribe or social structure. To keep infighting to a minimum, women are “married off” or given to a man as a prize for skills that are beneficial to the tribe. The need to have a woman who can bear children has also been a hot button issue.


Quite frankly, is this what we want marriage boiled down to again? Traditions based on limited female power and stifling roles?

There are other countries that do indeed grant legal rights to same-sex couples. Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, and Sweden.

One argument given is that gay marriage threatens traditional marriage. Those 11 countries aren’t nations without their own religious grounds and beliefs, you know. If anyone thinks religion has no influence in Spain to this day, they’re not looking hard enough.

It’s not just about terminology — but the words we use do indeed hold power. If civil unions were made equal, that would be one thing. But why should one group enjoy numerous benefits to being “married”, while another group has to settle for a civil union that doesn’t have nearly as many benefits?

The world is changing, as it has through even religious history. For those that are leaning on their religion as grounds to be against gay marriage, is marriage still the same for your religious group as it was in ancient times? Chances are good that it’s not at all.

The number of countries that are even putting civil unions on the books is growing and growing — Andorra, Austria, Brazil, Colombia, Czech Republic, Ecuador, Finland, France, Germany, Greenland, Hungary, Ireland, the Isle of Man, Jersey, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Slovenia, Switzerland, the United Kingdom, Uruguay. That’s a lot of countries!

Many residents of the United States claim that they are truly proud to be an American. Are gays suddenly not Americans? What happened to United We Stand?

Food for thought.

Top African American LBGT’s

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We try to include as much as we can from all across the LGBT spectrum, so why not a listing of some amazing black LGBT icons? They are truly world influencers and have put their own stamp on what it means to be gay and black at the same time.

1. Carolyn Mobley


Here is an interesting example of Christian mercy in motion. Carolyn Mobley was the first woman to co-chair the African-American Lesbian/Gay Alliance — it’s a smaller part of the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays. She was actually raised as a devout Christian, but get this…her church condoned her sexuality even though she was a Christian educator. The organization she served bridged the gap between the civil rights movement and the LGBT movement. Powerful!

2. Lorraine Hansberry


A lot of people were very shocked to find that yes, Lorraine Hansberry was indeed part of the LGBT community. She is the playwright and civil rights activist who wrote A Raisin in the Sun and gained immense popularity.

3. Josephine Baker


Red hot and wild in her heyday, Josephine Baker had it all — actor, singer, dancer, and all around entertainer. She fled to France in order to have more opportunities, but it didn’t stop her from becoming a worldwide sensation.

4. Sheryl Swoopes


A true LGBT icon in the sports world — she was the first woman that signed with the WBNA and paved the way for others to come after her. She has also won three Olympic gold medals and is an outspoken advocate of higher pay for female athletes around the sports world.

5. Wanda Sykes


While Ms. Sykes has only been openly gay in the media for a few years, she’s been a media darling for much longer than that. She is a stand up comedienne and an all around funny woman.

6. Andre Leon Talley


If you haven’t checked out Andre Leon Talley or know who he is, no problem! He is a top fashion icon in the industry, a man who has been a key part of Vogue and other fashion portals for many years. He is consulted, admired, and carries his own sense of style in a really big way. In his own way, he is also a spokesperson for the healthy at any size movement, given his proportions. He proves that you don’t have to be thin in order to be…well, fabulous!

Gays of color should have their own role models, because it can be hard to look into a community and not see anyone that looks like you. The black community has traditionally been very conservative and religious, which hasn’t always meant a lot of tolerance for its black gay youth and young adults. The tide is changing though, thanks to the stylish, powerful, and influential black LGBT’s of the past, present, and most certainly the future.

Why Yes, Gay Bullying Still Matters!

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Some people have declared gay bullying a non-issue. While it would be tempting to toss names around and blame, we’re not going to take that road. Instead, we’re just going to give you our perspective. Long time fans of the site should already know, but hey — we never mind repeating ourselves on such a strong issue.

You see, bullying is something that affects everyone, and guess what — that doesn’t change when the target is a gay guy or gay girl. It makes it even worse because we’re so aware now of the discussion, and they are aware that the entire world is looking at them.


It’s not just about the mental effects of bullying — it’s the social effect as well. When you’ve been put down and put down and put down, you stop fighting. It’s very similar to a science experiment done with jumping fleas in a jar. If you trap fleas in there, they will try to jump out of the jar — even though they bump their heads. After a while though, they will stop fighting because they have been “taught” through their experiences that there’s no way out. They will eventually succumb to their environment and die, even if you were to unscrew the lid and try to set them free. Even seeing that the lid is no longer on the jar, they will not try to escape again — their will to fight has been stripped away.

While this might sound gruesome to some, it is an apt parallel to gay bullying. We’re looking at a nation of “fleas” that are getting very close to feeling like there’s no end in sight.

Some will argue that they are simply making an appeal to free speech. Is there a line to free speech? We have successfully demonized the actions of hate groups that have a racial focus — what about a sexual orientation focus?

The idea that it’s OK to demonize and speak out against gay youth merely on religious grounds — or to suggest that it can be “removed” through prayer is ridiculous. There’s just no other way to say it. It’s ridiculous, it’s hateful, and it sends our gay youth the message that as long as you can couch something in “beliefs”, it’s okay to use it against other people.

We all have to share this planet and until people truly get that, we are going to have to deal with gay bullying. We’re going to have to deal with gay suicide. We’re going to have to deal with gay teens feeling like they might as well lock themselves away from the world because no one will accept them.

This is not just an issue for gay people — it’s an issue for all people. Would you want someone to sit on the sidelines as you are mocked for your race, gender, or your background? Not at all. So why, as a nation, are we still so deeply divided on this issue?

Famous Gays You Need to Check Out, Part 1

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We like to highlight famous and influential people in the LGBT community for a few different reasons. The biggest reason is that many gay teens feel alone, as if they are the only people out there that have these feelings. You’re not alone, and there are plenty of people that feel the same way you do. The more you realize that, the better you’ll feel about coming out as a gay teen or young adult.

Here’s the list.

1. Andy Cohen


Andy Cohen is a television executive, widely known for his work with the Bravo cable television network. He hosts Watch What Happens Live, a show that millions of people tune into every night.

Cohen is also a recurring commentator on CNN and he’s even co-hosted Live with Regis & Kelly.

2. Tila Tequila


Say what you want about Tila, she definitely knows how to get around in the world. She is a force to be reckoned with! She became the first Asian woman Playboy cover model.

She’s had a hit reality TV show — A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and she’s true MySpace royalty.

She is open about her bisexual life, including being supportive of her now deceased partner, Casey Johnson.

3. Bryan Singer


Bryan Singer is definitely gay, definitely famous, and definitely focused on a bright and shining career! He is a huge comic book fan who is behind X-Men and X2. He’s a Jewish New Yorker as well, and has been proud to come out as a gay man. He’s also behind popular TV series as House MD and is also backing Superman Returns and Logan’s Run.

4. Neil Patrick Harris

How can we have a listing of gay celebs without covering Neil Patrick Harris? He is absolutely adorable and a total nerd! He is an actor famous for a lot of different roles, including Dougie Howser, M.D and his role in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.

He’s hosted the Emmy Awards and has no plans of slowing down at all.

5. Portia de Rossi


The incredibly hot wife of Ellen DeGeneres has an acting career in her own right. She was a force to be reckoned with on Ally McBeal, and she is also a well known and recognized spokesperson.

There are a lot of great gay celebrities out there, and we’re not done showcasing them yet — consider this a five part series designed to put a smile on your face. Remember, you are definitely not alone!

Mythbusting Time – You Can Be Young, Gay, and Healthy!

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We hate myths online, especially when we know that today’s curious gay youth are going to be looking at things in a completely different manner than the older generation of gays would. You have to make sure that you keep your own personal corner of the world bright, because there are people that will try to take things away from you. There are indeed people that will try to ruin your day. You have to fight back against them because they don’t matter in the long run.

One of the top myths that are going around right now is that you can’t be healthy as a gay teen or young adult — that there are just too many things out there geared to making you sick.

The statistics just aren’t there. It is quite possible to live a long and healthy life as a gay teen — there are gay people in their 80’s and 90’s as well!

Their secret? They didn’t focus on “gay health” — just health. That’s something that we can all get behind, right? So if you’re a young gay teen trying to figure out how to actually stay healthy, here’s a few more tips for you to do that.


First and foremost, you’re going to want to step away from processed food. The facts on GMO (genetically modified organisms) in our food are sketchy, but more evidence is coming out that we may need to be concerned. Instead of panicking, it’s better to make sure that you choose foods that are local to you that grow in season.

You may also have food intolerances that you haven’t even guessed about. For example, you might be lactose intolerant. Think about how you feel after you eat certain foods. Going on an elimination diet can help you pinpoint foods that make you feel great, and foods that don’t. If you remove dairy and find that adding it back causes stomach upset and bloating, then you have identified something that shouldn’t be part of your diet.

Not every allergy test will necessarily show that you have this food intolerance — but if you really start learning how to listen to your body, you can fight this.

Another point that you want to think about is getting regular exercise. Not exercising is something that has led to a host of new world diseases that many of our ancestry groups just didn’t have. Being able to get back in shape can be hard, especially if you’re seriously overweight. This is where a doctor can step in and build you a good program. Always get your blood work checked by a doctor before you start any type of program, especially a high intensity one. You don’t want to put more stress and strain on your body just in the name of weight loss.

Another area that you need to handle is your stress level as well as your sleep. We’re not saying that you have to give up on everything you love and go be a hermit in the woods, but there is something to be said about actually giving your body the rest and relaxation that it needs. Getting yourself in a better mood is also a must — do what makes you happy. Tuning out the opinions of people that don’t even like you is a much needed skill in today’s world, where everyone feels they have the right to tell you what to do with your life — even when they don’t even know you!

Take it easy, and you’ll be just fine — we promise!