Youth Guide

Leadership & wellness for all youth

Caught a Partner Cheating – Find Relief Today

By

There’s a lot of overlap between the gay and straight community. We can be honest about that — if you’re thinking about the way you’re being treated in a relationship, you can bet your entire stack of dreamy teen idols that someone else is feeling the same way. Far too often, we think of ourselves as completely separate, and the issues that affect the straight community don’t affect us at all. But is that really the case? The reality here is that what happens in relationships hurts whether you’re gay or straight.

So if you wake up and find that your partner is cheating on you, you shouldn’t feel like you have to suffer in silence. Unfortunately a lot of gay teens think that they have to suffer in silence because everyone has been so critical of them. They feel that there’s just no way out, but that’s not the case at all. If you really want to make sure that you’re focusing on everything that’s important, you owe it to yourself to find healing for such a tough situation.

Getting help from gay-friendly friends and family is the name of the game. You want to run towards supportive people, not away from them. If you shut yourself off from the world, you’re going to be trapped with your thoughts. We can’t speak for everyone, but we know that when we’re left with way too much free time to think things through, we start imagining the worst.

It’s very typical to blame yourself and think that you will not have any type of options when it comes time to move on. You want to dwell in all of the hurt feelings, but that’s not something that really makes sense in your situation. It’s better to really think about everything that’s waiting for you, not the things that are holding you back.


Don’t feel like you were cheated on because you’re gay. Infidelity is something that actually happens to people from all backgrounds. That doesn’t mean that it hurts less, but you should take a little bit of comfort in knowing that you aren’t the only person in the world that has been cheated upon.

If you really want our advice, we think that you shouldn’t move backwards. Far too often, when your partner is caught they will want to try to tell you that it only happened once and it will never happen again. However, it’s been our experience that by the time you discover what’s really going on; they practically have a second relationship on the side. That may be too much for you, and there’s no one in the world that can force you to accept something that is outside your comfort zone. You have every right to a monogamous, loving relationship.

Talking it out with your ex is something that comes only after you’ve had some space away from the conflict at hand. Don’t try to talk to them late at night when you’re thinking about going to bed. Don’t talk to them when you’re drunk and you just want to numb the pain away. Don’t talk to them when you’re unhappy about everything else. Try to come to them on as neutral of ground as you can. Don’t sleep with them just because they ask for a second chance. It’s very easy to assume sex means love, but there are plenty of people that can sleep with you without having any type of bond to you. Is that fair? No, not really but it is what it is. You have to make sure that you’re protecting yourself as much as possible.

It hurts, gay teens. It’s a pain that just keeps hurting and eventually, time takes away the active sting. Yet you never really forget. While it’s true that you can stay with the person, you’re always going to wonder if they’ll keep their word or not. Once trust is broken, and it can feel like a lifetime passes before it’s restored.

As always, take care of you first and the rest will follow!

Why the Gay Community Still Needs Its Heroes

By

The gay community is growing and changing, as all communities do. The personal is political when you’re gay, and there’s never a day that you get to just sit back and be nonpolitical. After all, your very identity is tied to a political issue that is growing deeper and deeper. While many show support for gays, there are many that oppose even the right of gays to live anywhere that they chose, fearing that they will be a danger to their children. That’s definitely not a great way to strike up a conversation, now is it?

You want to always make sure that you’re thinking about your agenda, not just the political one. That actually brings us to our next subject — why the gay community needs its heroes.

It would be easy to say that the battle of gay rights has been won in many ways, since gay marriage does exist in many places. However, is that all we were fighting for? Absolutely not. It’s important to also have health care coverage for one’s domestic partner, as well as being able to adopt as a gay couple.


There’s also the very important issue of being able to get the same survivor’s benefits. When someone is married to you and they die, the rights of ownership are pretty clear because many things would be transferred to the spouse. Gays don’t have that right automatically.

It’s not just about contracts – it’s about the rights that everyone else has that we don’t.

We still need our heroes of the gay community raising the alarm, pointing out intolerance and actually making it clear that we aren’t just going to be quiet. If they want to take money from us to benefit society, why shouldn’t we have equal rights? We’re still expected to go to work, pay our taxes, do the right thing, and just shut up about intolerance. It just doesn’t work that way, because we’re not going to allow it so.

Sure, there are opponents of gay rights that wish we would just shut up, and they are more than willing to declare the battle over. They’ve thrown a few crumbs our way, right? Well, that’s not the way it’s going to be, thankfully.

As a gay teen, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that your life, whether you like it or not, is political. Its’ time to get informed — you can do it!

Top African American LBGT’s

By

We try to include as much as we can from all across the LGBT spectrum, so why not a listing of some amazing black LGBT icons? They are truly world influencers and have put their own stamp on what it means to be gay and black at the same time.

1. Carolyn Mobley


Here is an interesting example of Christian mercy in motion. Carolyn Mobley was the first woman to co-chair the African-American Lesbian/Gay Alliance — it’s a smaller part of the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays. She was actually raised as a devout Christian, but get this…her church condoned her sexuality even though she was a Christian educator. The organization she served bridged the gap between the civil rights movement and the LGBT movement. Powerful!

2. Lorraine Hansberry


A lot of people were very shocked to find that yes, Lorraine Hansberry was indeed part of the LGBT community. She is the playwright and civil rights activist who wrote A Raisin in the Sun and gained immense popularity.

3. Josephine Baker


Red hot and wild in her heyday, Josephine Baker had it all — actor, singer, dancer, and all around entertainer. She fled to France in order to have more opportunities, but it didn’t stop her from becoming a worldwide sensation.

4. Sheryl Swoopes


A true LGBT icon in the sports world — she was the first woman that signed with the WBNA and paved the way for others to come after her. She has also won three Olympic gold medals and is an outspoken advocate of higher pay for female athletes around the sports world.

5. Wanda Sykes


While Ms. Sykes has only been openly gay in the media for a few years, she’s been a media darling for much longer than that. She is a stand up comedienne and an all around funny woman.

6. Andre Leon Talley


If you haven’t checked out Andre Leon Talley or know who he is, no problem! He is a top fashion icon in the industry, a man who has been a key part of Vogue and other fashion portals for many years. He is consulted, admired, and carries his own sense of style in a really big way. In his own way, he is also a spokesperson for the healthy at any size movement, given his proportions. He proves that you don’t have to be thin in order to be…well, fabulous!

Gays of color should have their own role models, because it can be hard to look into a community and not see anyone that looks like you. The black community has traditionally been very conservative and religious, which hasn’t always meant a lot of tolerance for its black gay youth and young adults. The tide is changing though, thanks to the stylish, powerful, and influential black LGBT’s of the past, present, and most certainly the future.

Famous Gays You Need to Check Out, Part 1

By

We like to highlight famous and influential people in the LGBT community for a few different reasons. The biggest reason is that many gay teens feel alone, as if they are the only people out there that have these feelings. You’re not alone, and there are plenty of people that feel the same way you do. The more you realize that, the better you’ll feel about coming out as a gay teen or young adult.

Here’s the list.

1. Andy Cohen


Andy Cohen is a television executive, widely known for his work with the Bravo cable television network. He hosts Watch What Happens Live, a show that millions of people tune into every night.

Cohen is also a recurring commentator on CNN and he’s even co-hosted Live with Regis & Kelly.

2. Tila Tequila


Say what you want about Tila, she definitely knows how to get around in the world. She is a force to be reckoned with! She became the first Asian woman Playboy cover model.

She’s had a hit reality TV show — A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and she’s true MySpace royalty.

She is open about her bisexual life, including being supportive of her now deceased partner, Casey Johnson.

3. Bryan Singer


Bryan Singer is definitely gay, definitely famous, and definitely focused on a bright and shining career! He is a huge comic book fan who is behind X-Men and X2. He’s a Jewish New Yorker as well, and has been proud to come out as a gay man. He’s also behind popular TV series as House MD and is also backing Superman Returns and Logan’s Run.

4. Neil Patrick Harris

How can we have a listing of gay celebs without covering Neil Patrick Harris? He is absolutely adorable and a total nerd! He is an actor famous for a lot of different roles, including Dougie Howser, M.D and his role in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.

He’s hosted the Emmy Awards and has no plans of slowing down at all.

5. Portia de Rossi


The incredibly hot wife of Ellen DeGeneres has an acting career in her own right. She was a force to be reckoned with on Ally McBeal, and she is also a well known and recognized spokesperson.

There are a lot of great gay celebrities out there, and we’re not done showcasing them yet — consider this a five part series designed to put a smile on your face. Remember, you are definitely not alone!

Mythbusting Time – You Can Be Young, Gay, and Healthy!

By

We hate myths online, especially when we know that today’s curious gay youth are going to be looking at things in a completely different manner than the older generation of gays would. You have to make sure that you keep your own personal corner of the world bright, because there are people that will try to take things away from you. There are indeed people that will try to ruin your day. You have to fight back against them because they don’t matter in the long run.

One of the top myths that are going around right now is that you can’t be healthy as a gay teen or young adult — that there are just too many things out there geared to making you sick.

The statistics just aren’t there. It is quite possible to live a long and healthy life as a gay teen — there are gay people in their 80’s and 90’s as well!

Their secret? They didn’t focus on “gay health” — just health. That’s something that we can all get behind, right? So if you’re a young gay teen trying to figure out how to actually stay healthy, here’s a few more tips for you to do that.


First and foremost, you’re going to want to step away from processed food. The facts on GMO (genetically modified organisms) in our food are sketchy, but more evidence is coming out that we may need to be concerned. Instead of panicking, it’s better to make sure that you choose foods that are local to you that grow in season.

You may also have food intolerances that you haven’t even guessed about. For example, you might be lactose intolerant. Think about how you feel after you eat certain foods. Going on an elimination diet can help you pinpoint foods that make you feel great, and foods that don’t. If you remove dairy and find that adding it back causes stomach upset and bloating, then you have identified something that shouldn’t be part of your diet.

Not every allergy test will necessarily show that you have this food intolerance — but if you really start learning how to listen to your body, you can fight this.

Another point that you want to think about is getting regular exercise. Not exercising is something that has led to a host of new world diseases that many of our ancestry groups just didn’t have. Being able to get back in shape can be hard, especially if you’re seriously overweight. This is where a doctor can step in and build you a good program. Always get your blood work checked by a doctor before you start any type of program, especially a high intensity one. You don’t want to put more stress and strain on your body just in the name of weight loss.

Another area that you need to handle is your stress level as well as your sleep. We’re not saying that you have to give up on everything you love and go be a hermit in the woods, but there is something to be said about actually giving your body the rest and relaxation that it needs. Getting yourself in a better mood is also a must — do what makes you happy. Tuning out the opinions of people that don’t even like you is a much needed skill in today’s world, where everyone feels they have the right to tell you what to do with your life — even when they don’t even know you!

Take it easy, and you’ll be just fine — we promise!