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New Jersey Supreme Court Says Same-Sex Marriages Can Begin

No one can stop an idea whose time has come, and that definitely applies to same sex marriage. The idea that two people cannot get married over something so basic is ridiculous. No matter who you are, you should be able to join hands and get married. From a legal standpoint, there are numerous rights that are given to those in a traditional marriage. Why shouldn’t same sex couples enjoy those policies as well? Indeed, you cannot even adopt together as a gay couple in some places. When will people realize that we deserve the same rights as everyone else, and you cannot use a religion to say that we cannot have secular rights? Gay marriage doesn’t threaten traditional marriage. We are more than happy to avoid getting married in a church, and many gay people are okay with following religious codes. We’d be happy with a courthouse wedding, to be perfectly honest.

Well, here’s some good news for a change: the New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that the ban of same sex marriage is unconstitutional, and thus these marriages will begin taking place from the 21st of October onward.

This is an excellent time to be a resident of New Jersey. Of course, Governor Chris Christie isn’t quite pleased, and lost his bid for a delay.

Sorry, Governor, you don’t get to win this time. This is a magical time for gay people living in New Jersey. Have they ever considered that if they would just give us the same rights that they get to enjoy, we would back down?

This has bigger lesson and takeaways for the gay community at large. Our time is definitely here. More and more straight allies are standing up to say that the way we are treated is wrong. Don’t get sucked into the Westboro Baptist Church. They are extremists, and they’re going to get you mad. Focus on the love that straight people have for our cause. Focus on the devotion that they have to our rights.

And more importantly…treat them like people too. I know it’s hard to see them as your ally when so many have probably hurt you in the past. Let no innocent person bear the crimes of another person. Our legal system is based on this premise, and let’s face it — would you really want to pay the crimes of someone else? I sure wouldn’t.

If you see someone online from New Jersey involved in a same sex relationship, definitely pass them on the good news.

But what do you really think? Is there anything else that New Jersey needs to do for its growing gay community? Sound off in the comments!

LGBT Shortfilm

By Webmaster

I was contacted by an aspiring filmmaker who just successfully completed a lesbian short film that was shot in New Jersey and New York.

“‘Reds & Blues’ takes place in Asbury Park, NJ in 1997. It is a visual journey into the thoughts of Daphne, who hasn’t gotten over the death of her girlfriend Haylie. Both couldn’t be together because of the manipulation from Haylie’s aunt Dolores who convinced Haylie to think she was in fact straight, which led to her suicide. Despite this fact, the suicide is not shown and it is all more of a visual collage.

My crew and I shot over 3 weekends and other weekdays at my Brooklyn apartment. We successfully funded our campaigns with private investors and indiegogo. Our very talented cast is from different NYC conservatories and our crew was formed by undergraduate students and alumni from the School of Visual Arts here in Manhattan.”

Would An All-Gay Environment Really Be Better

By Webmaster

Here’s something you might not have thought about recently — what about an all gay environment? Yes, we’re being hypothetical here. It’s okay to dream and debate a few things that may never happen. Of course, if you have big dreams of building a community that’s nothing but gay people and their biggest supporters, then let’s see how well that would work out.

First and foremost, would an all gay environment magically solve all of the problems that you’re facing? Probably not. You see, you’re still going to have to deal with people being people. Gay or straight, there are just some behaviors that humans get into. You will still face fear, jealousy, envy, anger, sadness, loneliness, clique behavior…the list goes on and on. The trouble with Utopias is that in real life, they don’t work out. Someone will feel envy, someone will just not be able to deal with someone else. There is always a little trouble to be expected in a group. The media portrayal of all gays being catfighting maniacs is ridiculous, but the reality here is that the opposite is also ridiculous.

You cannot just assume that just because you’re going to be around other gay people that everything is going to run seamlessly. The key here is communication and understanding. Just as you want to be understood, you have to realize that other people want to be understood as well. Don’t give up on being able to connect with people.

The reality is that when e separate that far away from the world, we’re cutting ourselves out of opportunities. We can’t just assume that every straight person has a problem with us. Yes, there are people that just aren’t comfortable with gay people. You have people that are protesting against something that people have been doing for thousands of years — getting married.

If you aren’t keeping a journal, you very well should. It gives you a chance to dream of the life that you ultimately want. That can help you break away from getting so worked up with everyone and what they’re doing that you get discouraged. There is a time and a place for everything, but getting upset just takes away your power. Why not check into everything that you can do, today, to make yourself feel better?

Getting back to balance might not be easy, but gay teens; it’s exactly what we need to do!

Photography and the Gay Experience

By Webmaster

Building your self confidence as a gay teen means that you need to think about anything and everything that’s going to keep you feeling happy, connected, and in love with everything around you. Sure, it’s never easy to hear that you have so much opposition to your lifestyle.

But here’s something that can really boost your life in a lot of ways — photography. Indeed, photography is something that is really core to the gay experience. We need more photos of what gay life really looks like.

I’m not talking about publicity photos from Ellen either. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ellen. I love what she does for the gay community. I love that she’s truly in love with Portia de Rossi, I love that she’s so committed to her lifestyle and making gay teens the subject of a lot of outreach. I love Dan Savage. I love George Takei. These are all incredible people. However, they can feel a little out of our reach as gay teens.

It can feel like we’re missing a big slice of gay life. Do normal people act like celebrities represent their real, everyday lives? Not really.

It’s time for us to take pictures of life as it unfolds. If you don’t have a camera right now, you should definitely get one. Your phone should also have a camera to capture those little moments while you are out and about. The more that you can plan these things out, the better off you will honestly be in the long run. It’s just time to really think about anything and everything that can really tie your experience together. The more that you plan; the better off you will truly prosper. But you have to keep your wits about you. You have to stay sharp. You have to stay focused. You have to think about anything and everything that could get in your way. You have to think about the people that make you unhappy — and then choose to be happy anyway.

Social networking can connect you to other gay youth. They will share their pictures of everyday life with you, and that’s what this is all about. We want to feel normal, because we are normal. If we continue to hide in the shadows and assume that what we’re doing is wrong, then we’re always going to be wrong. If we always look at the world of gay youth as something that’s wrong or separate, then we’re not going to go anywhere fast.

We deserve better, gay teens. In fact, you deserve better. You have to claim your good even when it hurts. Because without it, we just won’t go anywhere at all. That’s the whole point of all of the outreaches and the support groups.

If you’re feeling isolated and alone right now, you should know that it’s never too late to truly reach for something worthwhile. It’s never too late to feel loved and protected. Get help before things go out of hand. There are more people that love you than you can ever imagine!

Don’t Let Anyone Rush You Into Getting Sexual

By Webmaster

If you’re thinking about your love life right now, don’t worry — you’re not the only one. Unfortunately, many guides for gay teens are written with the assumption that you’re already sexually active. Even though this may be the case for many gay teens, the reality is that there are some that still are waiting for the right person. That’s not a religious ideal at all. You should wait for someone that really takes your breath away. Sex should mean something — and we can be sex positive and still agree that there is definitely a time and a place for sexual activity.

First and foremost, you want to be on the right emotional footing yourself before you go out and have sex. It’s easy to attach more emotion than someone else has about the matter, which tends to backfire badly. You don’t want to feel like you are being pressured into something that you’re not ready for. A lot of gay teens put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves. They expect that they should be more ready to have sex, as if they have something to prove. If you know that you aren’t going to get the emotional connection that you need, then it’s perfectly okay to avoid sex. Some people are more into casual sex, but they aren’t putting a lot emotion into it. They know that they aren’t getting to have a life with that person. It’s just a physical attraction thing and it’ll pass on.

If you are going to wait, make sure that you still have other parts of the relationship down pat. Spend time that doesn’t involve touching and kissing with your partner. Let them know that you care about them. And if you’re not ready, you should be open about that form the very beginning. Our society has a high level of expectation when it comes to sex. We see it so much in the media that we expect that everyone is just having it. That’s not necessarily the case, and it’s perfectly okay to admit that.

At first, you might feel like you’re the only gay teen that isn’t having sex. But that’s just not true. There are plenty of gay teens that really aren’t having sex with anyone and everyone. They would rather wait till they have a stable relationship. You are well within your right to demand that someone respect you as a person before you take your clothes off.

However, you do want to make sure that you aren’t sending mixed messages. Sending photos that suggest nudity or even partial nudity can signal to some people that you might be ready for sex. If you’re just feeling out the waters here, that’s okay too. Remember that just because you’re not quite ready to have sex doesn’t mean that you aren’t a sexual human being. You’re probably already engaging in self-love, so why not expand it out when you’re ready? The point here is that it’s all about what you want and what you expect. The rest will come in good time!

As long as you are keeping your wits about you, there’s no reason why you can’t have a great time all of the time — whether you have sex or not!