Does the Chik Fil A Flap Really Still Matter to the Gay Community

September 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the Chik Fil A controversy. This is where the CEO of Chik Fil A, Dan Cathy, made a statement that he supported the biblical view of traditional marriage.

Cathy backtracked and reclarified himself, but the controversy match had already been struck, plunging the nation into a deep dialogue about gay rights, traditional marriage, and everything in between.

The publicity part has died down quite a bit, but does that mean anything? Absolutely not. It just means that we need to step back and really look at the world around us.


You see, just when you thought that people were tolerant because of Glee, Modern Family, and Ellen, you find that yes, people are more than happy to support a company that is giving money to groups that actively campaign and lobby against gay marriage and other rights being afforded to gay people.

This is still a big deal, gay teens. A huge deal. Even if you’re far, far away from getting married, you have to see it as a big deal. These people are actively considering your rights as a sin against the world itself, and they have no qualms about voting to make sure that you don’t have the same rights as them.

Maybe when you don’t have anyone trying to take things from you, you can declare the battle “finished”. But just because the reporters aren’t reporting about it doesn’t mean that the fight is over.

Chik Fil A took a beating for a time, but the news machine marches on and the company is peeking around to see if it still has supporters. There are plenty of people that boycotted Chik Fil A, but what about the ones that didn’t? What about the ones that still think that Cathy is actually in the right here?

More food for thought. For now, all you can do is educate the people around you. This isn’t just about free speech — it’s about a company that is giving money to people trying to take away your rights. That’s all there is to it.

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Can You Really Dream Of Being Married Someday

September 12, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Gay marriage is a pretty hot topic, especially outside of the gay community. It is seen as still something forbidden to gays, as it has its roots in religious marriage. Is that really the case, though?

The history of marriage is something that goes far beyond recorded history. Societies all over the world have some form of marriage — even to the point where polygyny is practiced. Marriage has been traditionally about regulating access to women within a tribe or social structure. To keep infighting to a minimum, women are “married off” or given to a man as a prize for skills that are beneficial to the tribe. The need to have a woman who can bear children has also been a hot button issue.


Quite frankly, is this what we want marriage boiled down to again? Traditions based on limited female power and stifling roles?

There are other countries that do indeed grant legal rights to same-sex couples. Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, and Sweden.

One argument given is that gay marriage threatens traditional marriage. Those 11 countries aren’t nations without their own religious grounds and beliefs, you know. If anyone thinks religion has no influence in Spain to this day, they’re not looking hard enough.

It’s not just about terminology — but the words we use do indeed hold power. If civil unions were made equal, that would be one thing. But why should one group enjoy numerous benefits to being “married”, while another group has to settle for a civil union that doesn’t have nearly as many benefits?

The world is changing, as it has through even religious history. For those that are leaning on their religion as grounds to be against gay marriage, is marriage still the same for your religious group as it was in ancient times? Chances are good that it’s not at all.

The number of countries that are even putting civil unions on the books is growing and growing — Andorra, Austria, Brazil, Colombia, Czech Republic, Ecuador, Finland, France, Germany, Greenland, Hungary, Ireland, the Isle of Man, Jersey, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Slovenia, Switzerland, the United Kingdom, Uruguay. That’s a lot of countries!

Many residents of the United States claim that they are truly proud to be an American. Are gays suddenly not Americans? What happened to United We Stand?

Food for thought.

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Why Yes, Gay Bullying Still Matters!

July 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Some people have declared gay bullying a non-issue. While it would be tempting to toss names around and blame, we’re not going to take that road. Instead, we’re just going to give you our perspective. Long time fans of the site should already know, but hey — we never mind repeating ourselves on such a strong issue.

You see, bullying is something that affects everyone, and guess what — that doesn’t change when the target is a gay guy or gay girl. It makes it even worse because we’re so aware now of the discussion, and they are aware that the entire world is looking at them.


It’s not just about the mental effects of bullying — it’s the social effect as well. When you’ve been put down and put down and put down, you stop fighting. It’s very similar to a science experiment done with jumping fleas in a jar. If you trap fleas in there, they will try to jump out of the jar — even though they bump their heads. After a while though, they will stop fighting because they have been “taught” through their experiences that there’s no way out. They will eventually succumb to their environment and die, even if you were to unscrew the lid and try to set them free. Even seeing that the lid is no longer on the jar, they will not try to escape again — their will to fight has been stripped away.

While this might sound gruesome to some, it is an apt parallel to gay bullying. We’re looking at a nation of “fleas” that are getting very close to feeling like there’s no end in sight.

Some will argue that they are simply making an appeal to free speech. Is there a line to free speech? We have successfully demonized the actions of hate groups that have a racial focus — what about a sexual orientation focus?

The idea that it’s OK to demonize and speak out against gay youth merely on religious grounds — or to suggest that it can be “removed” through prayer is ridiculous. There’s just no other way to say it. It’s ridiculous, it’s hateful, and it sends our gay youth the message that as long as you can couch something in “beliefs”, it’s okay to use it against other people.

We all have to share this planet and until people truly get that, we are going to have to deal with gay bullying. We’re going to have to deal with gay suicide. We’re going to have to deal with gay teens feeling like they might as well lock themselves away from the world because no one will accept them.

This is not just an issue for gay people — it’s an issue for all people. Would you want someone to sit on the sidelines as you are mocked for your race, gender, or your background? Not at all. So why, as a nation, are we still so deeply divided on this issue?

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Break Up – Keep Going With Life as a Gay Teen

April 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.


First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Don’t Stress – Gay Life Can Still Be Exciting!

April 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

When you first come out, it feels like you’re really stepping into a whole new world. The truth is that you are but there’s nothing at all wrong with this. In fact, it’s a good thing that you’re trying to find out the things that you like, rather than just hiding part of your identity.

That’s what it really is, honestly — your gay life is truly part of your identity. There is nothing in the world wrong with being gay, and it’s important that you realize that one little fact. If you take nothing else from this exercise, we hope that you take that.

The biggest thing that newly ‘outed’ gay teens need to realize is that gay life can indeed still be exciting. It’s not like the gay culture just came out of nowhere. The truth is that there are deep roots being drawn out to the surface everyday to the public. The gay culture scene has been strong in its own way since the turn of the century, with many historical references to homosexuality.


Some of the greatest writers of our modern era were gays, and they are remembered to this day for the contributions that they have made to our society as a whole.

However, you’re looking for things that you can do right now to enjoy gay life. No problem!

One of the top things that you can do is find others in your area that are doing cool things. Just because you recently come out as a confident gay teen doesn’t mean that the rest of life is going to stop. There are plenty of gays that have common interests with you — you just need to reach out and do what you’re going to do.

Gay nightclubs are popular, as well as gay vacation cruises and just about everything that you can think of. If you’re already into going out to see a play or another theater performance, you’ll definitely find other gays to connect with.

Good relationships are built on good friendships. Don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to get with someone just because they’re gay — there are just way too many gay people waiting to get to know you!

As a newly “out” teen, you may be going through a lot of different emotions. There’s no need to fight those emotions at all. You just need to dig down deep and realize that there’s really nothing at all to fear. There’s nothing at all to worry about. There’s nothing at all to run from. You’re just open about your sexual orientation and that’s it.

Are you ready to get started with the rest of your life? Then dig in, because gay life can be more exciting than you’ve ever imagined!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Bullies At School Have No Right to Hurt You – Fight Back!

April 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment

The high school environment is such a hard time for everyone. It feels like you always have to try to prove yourself, try to get people to see the goodness that you carry around naturally, and honestly just try to get from one point to the other without losing your pride completely. Instead of feeling like you just can’t seem to make things do what you want them to do, it’s time to start thinking about the wider world of fighting for what matters most to you.

Yes, there are going to be some challenges. There are going to be people that honestly feel like they don’t have to be good to you because of your sexual orientation. While it’s true that we’ve written about this before, it’s important that you really understand this point more than anything else — no one has the right to hurt you. Words hurt. Physical confrontations hurt. And if you feel that your life is in danger, you will need to find someone that can help you get the problem taken care of.


Of course, if you haven’t come out yet, you might feel like this is going to expose you. It may do that, but the truth is that many people probably already know that you’re gay. Do you really want to risk people hurting you and causing you physical pain if you’re truly being threatened? Not at all.

What you’re going to have to honestly do is make sure that you fight back from the beginning.

Talk to a teacher and let them know that you are being bullied and you are worried. By law, they have to make sure that they acknowledge the threat and deal with it accordingly. If your teacher doesn’t seem to want to help, you can go to the department chair or the principal’s office and let them know what’s happening.

We live in a culture where some people believe that this is “snitching” and it’s wrong, but what’s more wrong is having someone take your life when you’ve done nothing remotely wrong at all.

Bullies by their very nature are extremely insecure, and they’re fighting their own battles. Yet that doesn’t mean that they get to do whatever they want. The more proactive you are about the bully issue, the easier it will be to make sure that you get to enjoy your high school years to the fullest.

Even if you’re not ready to come out yet, you’re going to find that there are actually quite a few people that would be more than happy to help you when you least expect it. Don’t feel like you can’t reach out and get help when it’s time to get help.

Otherwise, you’ll always feel like it’s impossible to move on with your life. Bullying is something that definitely leaves a mark on just about everyone it touches. There’s no reason that you should feel the need to let it affect you at all. Why not look at your support team today and see just how you can fight bullying on your own terms?

Once you grow to a level where you’re comfortable with yourself, you will truly be glad that you took the time to take this very important step!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Your First Gay Relationship – Here’s How to Work it Out!

April 11, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Ah, love is such a wonderful thing! When you’re a gay teenager trying to feel your way through relationships, you might have a lot of thinking to do. You see, relationships are already tough as it is, then you have to also think about the gay element, so to speak. Let’s say that you find someone that you really like — you’re going to immediately think about whether or not they’re gay or straight. That can be frustrating, because you don’t want to be a walking stereotype. However, if you never take risks you’re not going to be able to find anyone and that’s not very fun either.

So, where do you go from here? Well, it depends on your approach to life in general. You might be someone that actually wants to do more internet dating, where you can really practice your responses. There are plenty of sites that cater to gay teens and young adults.

On the other hand, you might be more old fashioned. You can always look into where the local gay community hangs out and then follow suit. Hanging out in places where there are a lot of new gay people to meet and socialize with can easily lead you to someone wonderful to spend time with.

However, what if you’re already in a relationship? No problem! What you have to do from here is remember that the principles of good communication don’t care if you’re gay or straight. You’ll need to make sure that you follow these guidelines if you’re really going to have a good time with the person that matters most to you. Don’t mask problems with affection — no amount of sexual activity in the world can clear trouble. Yet you’ll soon learn that good conversation can stop a lot of problems before they get out of hand.

You should know where you stand with someone. Are they serious about you to the point where you are meeting the people that matter most to them? Do you guys hang out with each other’s friends? If not, you might find that you’re with them only in secret. That’s not a good feeling at all, and if you’re bothered by it that’s completely understandable. On the other hand, you shouldn’t feel like you have to be completely open with someone that you don’t know all that well. It’s just a matter of figuring out what your comfort zone is and going from there.

What more could you really ask for in a partner? There are quite a few things that you would do well to ask about, but you don’t have to rush through it. There’s nothing that says that you have to rush through anything that seems too “heavy”. It’s okay to have fun, especially when we’re talking about your first relationship.

Make sure that you try to work out problems before they morph into serious issues. That can’t be stressed enough.

The future looks bright for gay teens, especially as the movement has gained so much stability. You have plenty of GLBT people making good money and being in the public eye, and society at large has realized that gay people are still people who deserve love and happiness — that’s a start, right? Don’t give up on love or even just having a good time — there’s just too many opportunities out there waiting for you!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Do You Really Need to Come Out At Work?

April 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Your first job is a pretty nervous time whether you’re gay or straight, but the truth is that it’s a different world when you’re entering it as a young gay adult. You feel like everyone knows that you’re gay and just own talk about it, or you might feel that your sexual orientation will keep you from getting promoted at work. So we wanted to cover the big question that you’re probably wondering, and give you a few more pieces of advice about the working world as a gay person.

First and foremost, if you’re worried about your workplace environment, you will need to find someone that you trust to talk about it. In the corporate world, this is almost certainly an HR person. You have to make sure that you know the corporate culture as it stands, rather than what you think the corporate culture should indeed stand for. This might get a little bit tricky but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Worried about coming out to HR? Don’t — the role of human resources is to understand personnel management, and you are probably not the first gay person that the HR professional has encountered. If they are older than you and have been at the company longer, they can easily become a mentor to you as you try to navigate through the twists and turns of the corporate jungle.

As far as your boss and working team go, there’s no reason to tell them that you’re gay if you can tell that they would have a problem. You have to remember that it’s all about your comfort and your ability to produce good work for the company. Your manager will not be judging you as a gay person, they’re going to be judging you as an asset of the company, and scoring you accordingly. If you are a graphic designer and you put out good work that makes the company money, then that’s what they’re going to look at you about. On the other hand, if you are so caught up in the gossip mill about your sexual orientation that you don’t think about anything else, you might find that people really are going to have problems with you at work. That’s not a good thing and it can easily have you out of work very quickly!

The biggest takeaway here is that you need to focus on your professional goals. Where do you want to be in six months? A year? Five years? Think about the people in the company that can really help you reach those goals.

If there are issues at work, you’re going to want to make sure that you reach out to people that can get the problem stopped. No one in the world has the right to bully you, so don’t forget that!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With: , ,

The Future Looks Bright for Gay Teens!

April 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If you’re just coming out and you feel like you’re all alone, this guide is for you. The more we write about issues in the gay teen community, the more we realize that there are just some classic themes that need to be expanded. You see, the future really does look bright for gay teens. However, when you’re caked in the negativity of others, you might not always be able to see it.

Allow us to make things shine a little clearer for you. The road to being comfortable in your own skin starts with realizing that other people are the ones that have the problem, not you. You might run into people that have to let you know how much you disapprove of their lives. You might disapprove of a lot of things, but we doubt that you’re just itching to warn everyone about the “dangers” of their lifestyle, are you? Probably not.

So what you need to do from here is to make sure that you look at the things that you want. If you want a job that pays well and offers benefits that are gay friendly, you can find that.

If you want to find gay friendly travel destinations, you can definitely do that. It’s just a matter of figuring out what you want. When you first come out, it’s a good idea to come out to someone that can help you as you make all of these decisions.

This is a very hard time in your life, but it is one that you will eventually get through. Many people that came out when they were teenagers have found that the people that had the biggest problem with them have realized that life is just too short to hate someone so much to the point where you don’t speak to them. It’s better to embrace the person they are and just deal with the other parts that might not be as “tolerable”.

If we didn’t stress it enough, let us say it again – there is nothing wrong with coming out as a gay teenager. With the rise of the Internet, you have more and more options of getting out there to meet people that are also in the same boat as you. Once you find other gay teens, you’ll realize just how common this all really is!

Don’t just stay online. Don’t just read about all of the fun that other gay teens are having. Don’t just sit on Facebook and think about what you could do if you just could meet someone that thought like you, at least a little bit.

Go out there and take chances. You only get one chance at life and if you wait till the end of your days to really experience love and happiness, you’ll regret it. There are plenty of opportunities for gay teenagers and young adults — you just have to get out there and check things out for yourself. With only one life to live, what are you waiting for? Start today!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Bringing Home Your Gay Partner To Your Parents Without Stress

April 2, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Are you happily in a relationship and you really want to make sure that you’re going to be able to have the best time possible? No problem! There are plenty of gay couples that enjoy deep and meaningful relationships, just like there are many single people that enjoy deep and meaningful relationships. But what about when you want to reach out and talk to your parents about all of this? You might even want to bring your new gay partner home to meet your parents if things are sufficiently serious enough.

Instead of panicking and wondering and even worrying, you will need to make sure that you can do whatever it is that you need to do in order to get things off the ground. That’s really the only way that you’re going to have a good thing, when you think about it. It would be a lot smarter to have the peace of mind that comes from knowing deep down that you can truly share every facet of your life with your parents.

However, the last thing that you want to do is just surprise them with it. It’s time to go through a few steps in order to get what you’re looking for.

First and foremost, you will want to make sure that you go ahead and have the conversation first. Just showing up with your gay partner isn’t going to do you any favors. Your family may feel like you’re trying to force your new lifestyle on them. If you haven’t come out yet to them, that’s the first thing you need to do. You also want to make it clear that this person that you’re with is someone that you’re pretty serious about, and you want your family to share in your happiness.

Bringing them over doesn’t have to be a formal thing — you don’t have to pull out all of the stops. In fact, it’s better for your partner to actually see your family relaxed and comfortable. They’re going to be nervous because you have never brought anyone of the same sex home as a partner, but that’s okay. The nervousness will fade once they see how you and your partner interact.

You want to make sure that you respect the boundaries of your family. For the first meeting, keep things the same way you would if you were bringing home a member of the opposite sex home. Do your parents want to see you making out with someone? No. Do they want to see that you’re happy, safe, and ready to take on life with someone? Absolutely.

And relationships do ebb and flow — your partner might not be ready to introduce you to their parents, or come over your house to meet your family. This is obviously a step that you’ll want to take when you’re really interested in someone. That’s the best way to go about it, if you ask us!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With: , ,
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »