Why Attacking the CEO of Apple for Not Coming Out Is Wrong

As the iPhone 6 gets ready to launch, everyone is taking notice. But here’s something that people are taking notice of that isn’t a cell phone: Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple. He’s got big shoes to fill after Steve Jobs´s death, but it looks like he’s doing just fine.

Yet there’s a growing wave of concern over one issue that Tim Cook seems to avoid: talking about his sexuality. He has backed LGBT issues before, and supported Apple’s $100,000 donation to stopping Prop 8 from passing.

Tim Cook

Many LGBT activists believe that if someone is going to identify as gay, they need to be gay everywhere rather than shying away from the topic. Yet we are firm believers in one principle above all: everyone has the right to remain silent and share what they feel is public information. Tim Cook doesn’t look like he’s ashamed to be identified with LGBT issues at all.

What he looks like to us is a busy executive that really doesn’t want to have a thousand eyes poking into his private life. We can’t blame him at all for taking that stance. Pressuring him to speak about a big issue like his homosexuality isn’t kind, and it destroys the heart of what we believe here.

It’s no one’s business but yours. If you want to sing it from the rooftops, go ahead and do that. But if you want to make it more of an intimate thing that everyone knows but doesn’t hassle you about, then that’s fine too. [Read more...]

Teach Yourself Something This Summer – Why Wait

The online learning boom is here to stay, and we’re definitely glad for it. With so many LGBT youth feeling out of place in the traditional educational system, why aren’t we standing up and making our own choices? Is it fear? Is it the possibility that others will not accept that we’ve taken learning into our own hands? Don’t get us wrong: if you know that your upcoming career of choice is going to require a degree, then you should definitely reach for one. But if you’re just going to pay a lot of money for a degree that won’t serve you, why not skip it?

If you’re unfamiliar with free online courses, you might assume that they’re going to be low quality, or you won’t learn anything. But did you know that professors from MIT, Harvard, John Hopkins and other top tier schools have developed courses that are free to the public? While they will not give you college credit, they could give you some new understandings about a bunch of different subjects.

online learning

You also get the freedom of not having to show up in an environment where you’re going to be judged. Since it’s online, nobody knows that you’re gay. Of course, you can come out and talk about it but this really isn’t the venue for that type of discussion. It doesn’t really matter if you’re gay, because people aren’t concerned. They’re more concerned about showing up to get the valuable lessons they can use for their own lifelong learning journey. It’s freeing being somewhere that you can just relax, right? Absolutely!

Online learning isn’t always going to be easy. Sometimes the work might sound unclear, or you’re going to have to do more research than what you might be used to in a traditional school environment. Don’t get discouraged; see it as a challenge to branch out into subjects you don’t know much about. [Read more...]

Codependency and Gay Youth

Do you feel like it’s impossible to actually get anything done in your life because you feel like you have to take care of other people? Does it always feel like just as you start moving forward, other people have to drag you down? Do you feel hopeless, like nothing you ever do will come out right because someone will just come along and break it? Friends, you might be dealing with codependency.

A lot of gay youth actually come from homes that are less than stellar, and that’s okay. I’m from a dysfunctional family myself. What I’ve learned is that I can’t really function unless I’m fixing the problems that other people leave in my midst. That’s a tough way to live, because it means that you’re controlling other people. Even though you might feel that they can’t take care of themselves and they require you to fix it, you really are mistaken here. See, when we step in and take over other people’s responsibilities, we’re making them dependent on that service for the long run. It’s not that they can’t function, but that they simply choose not to function very well. It makes a lot more sense to take the path of worrying about your own life.

codependency

I think that codependency strikes gay youth harder because we feel like we “have to” fix everything even more, since we’re the “weird ones”. We’re the ones in the family that “aren’t right”. This is a bad way to live, because it means that you’re basically apologizing for being gay. With every action that you do to save someone in your family, you’re apologizing for being gay.

Friends, there’s no need to apologize for being who you are. What needs to happen is that you stand up for yourself and really look at the life that you’ve created. What type of life would you really lead if you weren’t worried about what everyone thinks about you? What type of pleasure would you get out of life if you didn’t have to stop and fret about what other people do with their time? How would you feel if you could focus on your own burdens rather than feeling like you have to carry the entire world on your shoulders?

There are ways out. Try to look for a therapist that works with LGBT youth, or LGBT people in general. Regular therapists might work, but they may have a bias against you, or try to indirectly shame you for being who you are. There are lists of gay-friendly therapists in just about any city.

Remember our post about building your own gay support team? If nothing else, this is one of the biggest reasons why you need a support group around you. Because when you aren’t able to set your own boundaries, you need someone confident enough to do it for you until you develop that skill. Notice the difference: they’re not going to be propping you up forever. There will come a time where you have to spread your own wings and fly to your own rhythms. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it just means that you have to look at more than just what’s pleasant. This path can be rough, but don’t worry: we have you covered.

The next post will go more in depth to looking for LGBT youth friendly therapists. Stay tuned!

Your Gay Support Team Awaits

Trying to be a gay youth on your own, with no support group, is downright insanity. I know that most will tell you to just toughen up and go it alone but this is a bad idea for a lot of different reasons. For starters, you need to realize that if you try to go on your own, you’re just setting the scene to be disappointed. It actually makes a lot more sense to focus on building the right team. Unfortunately, chances are good that nobody’s really taught you about the type of support team that you’re supposed to actually have. You can’t just go with anyone. I hate to break it to you, but not everyone is looking out for you. Not everyone is worried about your success. You have to be able to move forward and embrace a brighter future than that. It’s okay if you’re having some second thoughts, or you’re really worried about the future. It’s just a matter of letting go and letting things unfold as they’re going to unfold.

Support

Trying to control your support team is a bad idea. Trust me, there are going to be times where your support team says something that you absolutely disagree with. You’ll hate even hearing about it, but they’re going to tell you anyway. And that’s the first step to getting a support team in place. You need to pick people who aren’t just going to agree with everything you do. That’s not support, that’s enabling. What you must do instead is to look at the type of people that are going to be able to stand up for you. We are attacked by many voices around the gay community, but that doesn’t mean that they’re right. Your support team can tell you who is worth listening to, and who is just…well, noise.

Another point that you’ll want to think about is the type of skills your support team has naturally. If they’re not really interested in helping you, then they are going to bog you down in some pretty rough ways. It’s better that you get a support team that really has the skills to lift your life up from every corner. You want to move? Having somebody in your network with a truck helps! What about when it’s time to look for a job? You want to move with people that are truly movers and shakers. Even though you might be young, there’s still a lot to think about. Just leaving it up in the air doesn’t work out at all.

Think long and hard on who you really want within your support term, and then go from there.

Bringing Gay Partners Home for the Holidays

Are you looking at trying to go home for the holidays? If you really love your family, you probably dream about a warm, comfortable evening at home with the people that matter most to you. However, in the gay community we don’t have the luxury of just assuming your families are going to accept everything about us. Unfortunately, we have to deal with the potential for major conflict.

If you’ve just recently come out as a gay person, you might struggle with the decision to go home for the holidays, let alone actually bring your gay partner with you. Whether you’re the other half of a gay couple, or a lesbian couple, or a bisexual couple, you have to think about all parties involved. Even though you might feel the urge to just bring home your special someone regardless of what your family thinks…this is the wrong idea, for many reasons. If your family is hostile to the idea of same sex relationships, they’re not going to treat your partner with the kindness, respect, and grace that they deserve. Could you really sit there while your family talks about your partner behind their back, or otherwise shuts them out of the flow of conversation?

Gay couple holding hands

I had a girlfriend for a time and we couldn’t go around her family. They made sure to let me know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t welcome, that they didn’t approve of my relationship with their relative. That’s a hard battle to win. Sure, they might tolerate you in time but you don’t want to just have tolerance. You want to have acceptance. You want to have love as time goes on. If you’re constantly chasing some idea of acceptance by just hanging around until they break down, this isn’t a good idea either. You need to still consider that sometimes, families just don’t heal the way you want them to heal. They don’t do what you want them to do. And while you may love them, the best remedy is often to put a lot of distance between you and them.

This is the best way to make sure that you’re on the right side of the line in terms of your own sanity. Pushing a gay partner on your family as a surprise isn’t a good idea even when your family is accepting. Logistics in families is a touchy topic. There might not be enough resources to go around, and adding an extra person that wasn’t announced can be troublesome.

So where do you really go from here? You need to sit down had have a good discussion with your family several weeks before you plan to visit them. See where they are at emotionally. If they are still feeling from you revealing that you’re LGBT, and then they aren’t going to be receptive to your partner.

You may go home and find that they do not allow you and your partner to sleep in the same bed. Even though this is annoying, frustrating, and a bit outdated, the reality is that it’s your parents’ house, not your house. You cannot dictate terms to a house where you don’t live there regularly. You have to go with what they want and what they feel is best. Try to handle it politely, even though it might make you upset. Besides, just think about all of the hot gay action you can get when you’re back in your regular place!

The time is right to be open, up front, direct, and honest with your family about your lifestyle. Be prepared for questions, but really? We’re coming to the point where even the most conservative of conservatives has at least one gay friend. Times are truly changing!

Supporting a Family Member That Recently Came Out

When we’re dealing with our own issues as gay people, we can forget how important it is to support our fellow gays at every single turn. Indeed, if you’re just hoping that everything will fall into place for a gay family member that just came out of the closet, you have a lot to learn. The experience of coming out is different for everyone. If you had a great experience, then you might not realize how hard it is when others don’t have as good of an experience as you do. It’s time to make absolutely sure that you’re standing by the family member, and there’s ways to make it work.

First and foremost, you need to let them own the conversation. It’s very tempting to start teaching, or preaching, and that’s not the attitude that we need to cultivate here. You need to be the personal that goes with the flow and treats this all as very normal. Now, this doesn’t mean that you get to cut them off mid-sentence or assume that you understand all of their pain. Even though both of you are gay people, your experiences are going to be naturally different.

Supporting a Family Member

It’s going to be difficult not to make assumptions about what happened, or any type of fallout related to the issue. Some people will have a problem being this open and honest, while others will handle it very well. The way you handle it says a lot about your own skills, of course.

Are you looking to spend more time with the family member that came out? Believe it or not, they might not want to talk that much about being gray. Don’t try to force the issue or tell them about the power of counseling. If they are a grown person, they know what types of resources are out there for them. You can remind them a couple of times, but you just need to step out of their space as quickly as possible. That’s going to be the key to getting things done in a big way.

While you’re sitting here thinking about all of your plans, you might as well think some about your hope for the future as far as it relate to your relative. Do you have children that you need to include in this person’s life? Do you work together with a family member? If so, you may need to help them work through what they’re going to say at the office, if they choose to say anything at all.

Now is the perfect time to look at how you can truly be a shining member of the gay community.

Score High On Your Next Essay Without Stress – The Right Service Makes the Difference!

Bullying in today’s classrooms is a big deal, but that’s not what we’re going to talk about today. After all, that would only address the surface problems and not the underlying solutions that have helped troubled youth for decades. The best way to get over your problems is to get as far away from them as possible. Getting good grades and moving on to college is something that helps all students, not just gay ones. One area that students seem to struggle with is with essays. Is it really that hard to communicate?

Not really, but today’s student doesn’t really get too much opportunity to work on these skills. They do essays and then they have to turn them in. The feedback given isn’t always enough to correct the mistakes, which leads to more bad grades, less self-confidence, and a future that looks downright bleak. Naturally, it doesn’t have to be this way at all. That it takes to turn this situation around is to look for an essay helping service that can show you the right way to set up your essay. Believe it or not, many classrooms are actually only teaching you half the lesson. You will want to learn the other half to make absolutely sure that you have everything covered. This will also have a positive effect on your college applications. You won’t have to worry about not being able to get into the school of your dreams just because you can’t fill out the college entrance essay.

writing reflective essays

Writing reflective essays is a kind of assignment that is widely utilized in academia. This is actually for a good reason — you need to be able to inform the reader through providing clear word pictures that give a total representation of the subject matter. If you look at more advanced writing, such as advertorial and grant writing, you’ll find the same elements play out in those circles.

You cannot go wrong sharpening your ability to tell a clear, fascinating, educational, and persuasive story that brings the reader in from the very beginning. Even if you’re not doing it for a grade, chances are good that you may need to handle this later on in the future at a company or a non-profit organization. The opportunities you will have later should translate into a healthy salary, but it’s up to you to make that happen!

Brush Up On Your English Skills and Make the Grade!

Sure, we talk a lot about issues surrounding gay youth, but in our opinion there’s nothing more important than education. That’s why it’s so absolutely critical that if you’re going to get the most out of your classes, you get the best information possible. Getting good grades is the ticket to a lot of things, but for gay youth, it means a change in atmosphere. The gay community as a whole often laments about the lack of opportunities for youth, but it’s not just a problem that gay youth have to deal with.

It’s a problem linked to the world around us today. There just aren’t a lot of opportunities to go around these days, and that means that if you want to get ahead, you have to put yourself in places where it’s easier to do that. Getting through life means being strategic, and not just speculating on how to get things done. On the other hand, if we arm ourselves with specific skills, there’s no limit to where you can go in life.

essay writing

This brings us not just to education, but communication. Being able to clearly express yourself is a ticket to better opportunities. This puts your English essays in a different light, doesn’t it? If you can master those, you can master just about anything else that your education will challenge you with over the next few years to come.

But you can’t do it alone. Doing it alone just wouldn’t make sense. You need to get someone to help you with all of your essay writing needs. For example, one of the most popular essays PrivateWriting specializes in is company and contrast essay writing. This is a very common format asked for in today’s classrooms, and getting better at it will help you truly make the grade.

Getting ahead isn’t a matter of big leaps forward. Sometimes it’s incremental steps towards smaller goals. This will also build up your confidence and make you feel more inclined towards your studies. It can be hard to stay focused in today’s classroom with so many distractions around you. However, as long as you’re continuing to focus on the things that matter, there’s no way that you can fail! All it takes is firm belief in the opportunities out there!

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If you opt for professional writing assistance, you can get helps in completing essay writing assignments. If you want to write essay for research paper, you can give instruction to the professional about your requirements and the specifications. Most of the essay writing professionals insists students for uploading maximum specifications and information while making order and payment. Apart from that, the professional essay writers provide you a chance of maintaining a constant contact with the writers until getting back your completed assignments. This essay writing feature helps you to understand the process involved in essay writing services. There are also professional essay writers who are capable of following the writing of the students so that they will not get caught by their instructors to use a professional writing assistance.

Professional Writing Assistance

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There are a huge number of students who are being assisted by these professional essay writers. These professionals write essays based on the requirements on the students but not on their own decision.  When you peep into the moral of this service, most of the experts say that it is not a good idea to use professional writers to complete the assignments without any contribution from the students. Many college writing professional writers do not write essays of their own rather they will get the ideas from the students and make use of their expertise to make perfect essays, the students will be able to save more time which is not possible if they do not opt for this service.

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There are also many professional essay writers who provide outline of their services before accepting your payments. This will help you to actually understand what you will get at the end of essay writing process. The professional essay writers give more importance to the anticipation of the students while delivering their assignments. There are a huge number of professional essay writing companies available online. You can get highly competitive services from these companies. it is not at all good to opt for cheap services as well as high priced services. So you have to carry out a small research which helps to find the best professional writing assistance professional writing assistance with AdvancedWriters.com.

New Jersey Supreme Court Says Same-Sex Marriages Can Begin

No one can stop an idea whose time has come, and that definitely applies to same sex marriage. The idea that two people cannot get married over something so basic is ridiculous. No matter who you are, you should be able to join hands and get married. From a legal standpoint, there are numerous rights that are given to those in a traditional marriage. Why shouldn’t same sex couples enjoy those policies as well? Indeed, you cannot even adopt together as a gay couple in some places. When will people realize that we deserve the same rights as everyone else, and you cannot use a religion to say that we cannot have secular rights? Gay marriage doesn’t threaten traditional marriage. We are more than happy to avoid getting married in a church, and many gay people are okay with following religious codes. We’d be happy with a courthouse wedding, to be perfectly honest.

Well, here’s some good news for a change: the New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that the ban of same sex marriage is unconstitutional, and thus these marriages will begin taking place from the 21st of October onward.

New Jersey Supreme Court

This is an excellent time to be a resident of New Jersey. Of course, Governor Chris Christie isn’t quite pleased, and lost his bid for a delay.

Sorry, Governor, you don’t get to win this time. This is a magical time for gay people living in New Jersey. Have they ever considered that if they would just give us the same rights that they get to enjoy, we would back down?

This has bigger lesson and takeaways for the gay community at large. Our time is definitely here. More and more straight allies are standing up to say that the way we are treated is wrong. Don’t get sucked into the Westboro Baptist Church. They are extremists, and they’re going to get you mad. Focus on the love that straight people have for our cause. Focus on the devotion that they have to our rights.

And more importantly…treat them like people too. I know it’s hard to see them as your ally when so many have probably hurt you in the past. Let no innocent person bear the crimes of another person. Our legal system is based on this premise, and let’s face it — would you really want to pay the crimes of someone else? I sure wouldn’t.

If you see someone online from New Jersey involved in a same sex relationship, definitely pass them on the good news.

But what do you really think? Is there anything else that New Jersey needs to do for its growing gay community? Sound off in the comments!