Bringing Gay Partners Home for the Holidays

Are you looking at trying to go home for the holidays? If you really love your family, you probably dream about a warm, comfortable evening at home with the people that matter most to you. However, in the gay community we don’t have the luxury of just assuming your families are going to accept everything about us. Unfortunately, we have to deal with the potential for major conflict.

If you’ve just recently come out as a gay person, you might struggle with the decision to go home for the holidays, let alone actually bring your gay partner with you. Whether you’re the other half of a gay couple, or a lesbian couple, or a bisexual couple, you have to think about all parties involved. Even though you might feel the urge to just bring home your special someone regardless of what your family thinks…this is the wrong idea, for many reasons. If your family is hostile to the idea of same sex relationships, they’re not going to treat your partner with the kindness, respect, and grace that they deserve. Could you really sit there while your family talks about your partner behind their back, or otherwise shuts them out of the flow of conversation?

Gay couple holding hands

I had a girlfriend for a time and we couldn’t go around her family. They made sure to let me know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t welcome, that they didn’t approve of my relationship with their relative. That’s a hard battle to win. Sure, they might tolerate you in time but you don’t want to just have tolerance. You want to have acceptance. You want to have love as time goes on. If you’re constantly chasing some idea of acceptance by just hanging around until they break down, this isn’t a good idea either. You need to still consider that sometimes, families just don’t heal the way you want them to heal. They don’t do what you want them to do. And while you may love them, the best remedy is often to put a lot of distance between you and them.

This is the best way to make sure that you’re on the right side of the line in terms of your own sanity. Pushing a gay partner on your family as a surprise isn’t a good idea even when your family is accepting. Logistics in families is a touchy topic. There might not be enough resources to go around, and adding an extra person that wasn’t announced can be troublesome.

So where do you really go from here? You need to sit down had have a good discussion with your family several weeks before you plan to visit them. See where they are at emotionally. If they are still feeling from you revealing that you’re LGBT, and then they aren’t going to be receptive to your partner.

You may go home and find that they do not allow you and your partner to sleep in the same bed. Even though this is annoying, frustrating, and a bit outdated, the reality is that it’s your parents’ house, not your house. You cannot dictate terms to a house where you don’t live there regularly. You have to go with what they want and what they feel is best. Try to handle it politely, even though it might make you upset. Besides, just think about all of the hot gay action you can get when you’re back in your regular place!

The time is right to be open, up front, direct, and honest with your family about your lifestyle. Be prepared for questions, but really? We’re coming to the point where even the most conservative of conservatives has at least one gay friend. Times are truly changing!

Supporting a Family Member That Recently Came Out

When we’re dealing with our own issues as gay people, we can forget how important it is to support our fellow gays at every single turn. Indeed, if you’re just hoping that everything will fall into place for a gay family member that just came out of the closet, you have a lot to learn. The experience of coming out is different for everyone. If you had a great experience, then you might not realize how hard it is when others don’t have as good of an experience as you do. It’s time to make absolutely sure that you’re standing by the family member, and there’s ways to make it work.

First and foremost, you need to let them own the conversation. It’s very tempting to start teaching, or preaching, and that’s not the attitude that we need to cultivate here. You need to be the personal that goes with the flow and treats this all as very normal. Now, this doesn’t mean that you get to cut them off mid-sentence or assume that you understand all of their pain. Even though both of you are gay people, your experiences are going to be naturally different.

Supporting a Family Member

It’s going to be difficult not to make assumptions about what happened, or any type of fallout related to the issue. Some people will have a problem being this open and honest, while others will handle it very well. The way you handle it says a lot about your own skills, of course.

Are you looking to spend more time with the family member that came out? Believe it or not, they might not want to talk that much about being gray. Don’t try to force the issue or tell them about the power of counseling. If they are a grown person, they know what types of resources are out there for them. You can remind them a couple of times, but you just need to step out of their space as quickly as possible. That’s going to be the key to getting things done in a big way.

While you’re sitting here thinking about all of your plans, you might as well think some about your hope for the future as far as it relate to your relative. Do you have children that you need to include in this person’s life? Do you work together with a family member? If so, you may need to help them work through what they’re going to say at the office, if they choose to say anything at all.

Now is the perfect time to look at how you can truly be a shining member of the gay community.

Score High On Your Next Essay Without Stress – The Right Service Makes the Difference!

Bullying in today’s classrooms is a big deal, but that’s not what we’re going to talk about today. After all, that would only address the surface problems and not the underlying solutions that have helped troubled youth for decades. The best way to get over your problems is to get as far away from them as possible. Getting good grades and moving on to college is something that helps all students, not just gay ones. One area that students seem to struggle with is with essays. Is it really that hard to communicate?

Not really, but today’s student doesn’t really get too much opportunity to work on these skills. They do essays and then they have to turn them in. The feedback given isn’t always enough to correct the mistakes, which leads to more bad grades, less self-confidence, and a future that looks downright bleak. Naturally, it doesn’t have to be this way at all. That it takes to turn this situation around is to look for an essay helping service that can show you the right way to set up your essay. Believe it or not, many classrooms are actually only teaching you half the lesson. You will want to learn the other half to make absolutely sure that you have everything covered. This will also have a positive effect on your college applications. You won’t have to worry about not being able to get into the school of your dreams just because you can’t fill out the college entrance essay.

writing reflective essays

Writing reflective essays is a kind of assignment that is widely utilized in academia. This is actually for a good reason — you need to be able to inform the reader through providing clear word pictures that give a total representation of the subject matter. If you look at more advanced writing, such as advertorial and grant writing, you’ll find the same elements play out in those circles.

You cannot go wrong sharpening your ability to tell a clear, fascinating, educational, and persuasive story that brings the reader in from the very beginning. Even if you’re not doing it for a grade, chances are good that you may need to handle this later on in the future at a company or a non-profit organization. The opportunities you will have later should translate into a healthy salary, but it’s up to you to make that happen!

Brush Up On Your English Skills and Make the Grade!

Sure, we talk a lot about issues surrounding gay youth, but in our opinion there’s nothing more important than education. That’s why it’s so absolutely critical that if you’re going to get the most out of your classes, you get the best information possible. Getting good grades is the ticket to a lot of things, but for gay youth, it means a change in atmosphere. The gay community as a whole often laments about the lack of opportunities for youth, but it’s not just a problem that gay youth have to deal with.

It’s a problem linked to the world around us today. There just aren’t a lot of opportunities to go around these days, and that means that if you want to get ahead, you have to put yourself in places where it’s easier to do that. Getting through life means being strategic, and not just speculating on how to get things done. On the other hand, if we arm ourselves with specific skills, there’s no limit to where you can go in life.

essay writing

This brings us not just to education, but communication. Being able to clearly express yourself is a ticket to better opportunities. This puts your English essays in a different light, doesn’t it? If you can master those, you can master just about anything else that your education will challenge you with over the next few years to come.

But you can’t do it alone. Doing it alone just wouldn’t make sense. You need to get someone to help you with all of your essay writing needs. For example, one of the most popular essays PrivateWriting specializes in is company and contrast essay writing. This is a very common format asked for in today’s classrooms, and getting better at it will help you truly make the grade.

Getting ahead isn’t a matter of big leaps forward. Sometimes it’s incremental steps towards smaller goals. This will also build up your confidence and make you feel more inclined towards your studies. It can be hard to stay focused in today’s classroom with so many distractions around you. However, as long as you’re continuing to focus on the things that matter, there’s no way that you can fail! All it takes is firm belief in the opportunities out there!

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New Jersey Supreme Court Says Same-Sex Marriages Can Begin

No one can stop an idea whose time has come, and that definitely applies to same sex marriage. The idea that two people cannot get married over something so basic is ridiculous. No matter who you are, you should be able to join hands and get married. From a legal standpoint, there are numerous rights that are given to those in a traditional marriage. Why shouldn’t same sex couples enjoy those policies as well? Indeed, you cannot even adopt together as a gay couple in some places. When will people realize that we deserve the same rights as everyone else, and you cannot use a religion to say that we cannot have secular rights? Gay marriage doesn’t threaten traditional marriage. We are more than happy to avoid getting married in a church, and many gay people are okay with following religious codes. We’d be happy with a courthouse wedding, to be perfectly honest.

Well, here’s some good news for a change: the New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that the ban of same sex marriage is unconstitutional, and thus these marriages will begin taking place from the 21st of October onward.

New Jersey Supreme Court

This is an excellent time to be a resident of New Jersey. Of course, Governor Chris Christie isn’t quite pleased, and lost his bid for a delay.

Sorry, Governor, you don’t get to win this time. This is a magical time for gay people living in New Jersey. Have they ever considered that if they would just give us the same rights that they get to enjoy, we would back down?

This has bigger lesson and takeaways for the gay community at large. Our time is definitely here. More and more straight allies are standing up to say that the way we are treated is wrong. Don’t get sucked into the Westboro Baptist Church. They are extremists, and they’re going to get you mad. Focus on the love that straight people have for our cause. Focus on the devotion that they have to our rights.

And more importantly…treat them like people too. I know it’s hard to see them as your ally when so many have probably hurt you in the past. Let no innocent person bear the crimes of another person. Our legal system is based on this premise, and let’s face it — would you really want to pay the crimes of someone else? I sure wouldn’t.

If you see someone online from New Jersey involved in a same sex relationship, definitely pass them on the good news.

But what do you really think? Is there anything else that New Jersey needs to do for its growing gay community? Sound off in the comments!

The Hinterlands, An Original Musical Web Series Tackles Gay Teen Bullying

When you live in the middle of nowhere, growing up gay is pretty much the worst thing you can be.  The Hinterlands is an original musical web series about Paul, a 16-year old kid who lives in a rural area where there are few resources and little tolerance for LGBTQ kids, causing him to feel very isolated and terribly alone. Walking down the hallway at school every morning is like running a gauntlet; he is unable to avoid the insults, name-calling and physical confrontations that are launched at him, day after day, just because he’s gay. Paul begins to wonder if it’s worth it, as he doubts the bullying and suffering will ever end. He contemplates taking his own life, but comes to develop and nurture a sense of resiliency that will help him move forward in his life, despite aversion and obstacles.

Paul and his classmates have been assigned to make a mini-documentary about their lives. Through this construct, The Hinterlands allows Paul to tell his own story through a combination of iPhone self-documentation, web-cam confessions and traditional cinematography. The goal of The Hinterlands is to tell an authentic teen story from a teen perspective, so that kids can relate to the character and place themselves in the story, regardless of their own specific situation.

The Hinterlands was devised by the writing team of Michelle Elliott and Danny Larsen (CloakedThe Yellow Wood) and was directed by Brandon Ivie (A Christmas Story, First Date). The web series stars a number of establish and up and coming Broadway stars including Connor Russell (Disney’s Aladdin world premiere) as Paul, Erin Dilly (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Nice Work If You Can Get It) as his mother, John Bolton (A Christmas Story, Curtains, Spamalot) as his father and Zoe Considine (A Christmas Story) as his sister, Janie. Playing Paul’s peers at school are Caitlin Kinnunen (The Bridges of Madison County, Spring Awakening, next to normal), Daniel Quadrino (Newsies, Bye Bye Birdie), Andrew Brewer (Off-Broadway’s Cougar, The Musical and Nymph Errant) and Brianne WylieDavid Andrew Anderson (Meet John Doe) plays Gus.

The Hinterlands premieres October 28, 2013 and will be available online for FREE for kids across the country, along with resources and information for kids, parents and teachers who are confronting bullying. Watch the trailer below:

LGBT Shortfilm

I was contacted by an aspiring filmmaker who just successfully completed a lesbian short film that was shot in New Jersey and New York.

“‘Reds & Blues’ takes place in Asbury Park, NJ in 1997. It is a visual journey into the thoughts of Daphne, who hasn’t gotten over the death of her girlfriend Haylie. Both couldn’t be together because of the manipulation from Haylie’s aunt Dolores who convinced Haylie to think she was in fact straight, which led to her suicide. Despite this fact, the suicide is not shown and it is all more of a visual collage.

My crew and I shot over 3 weekends and other weekdays at my Brooklyn apartment. We successfully funded our campaigns with private investors and indiegogo. Our very talented cast is from different NYC conservatories and our crew was formed by undergraduate students and alumni from the School of Visual Arts here in Manhattan.”


Miles Grady

With such a title as “Miles Grady”, you might wonder what this is all about. We love to reach out to our fellow LGBT members of the community on a wide variety of issues, not just stuff involving “our issues”. Finance matters as well.

Since we have an international audience, I felt that it was important to warn you about the scams going on with Miles Grady and the Paymatters LLC group as a whole. This is a company that specializes in debt management and debt settlement, which means that they work things out with you and your credits. Unfortunately, they ended up hurting the public by including VAT, when they didn’t need to collect it in the first place. When you don’t inform the public of such a thing, we call that fraud.

It’s absolutely disgusting, and we wanted to reach out to let you know about it. Debt management is a topic that’s near and dear to our hearts, because debt hurts people. All people. Teens, young adults, older adults, children. It hurts even the children because when they are looking at how the adults handle their problems. So when you’re swindled by a debt management company, things start going downhill pretty fast.

3d man tied with text 'fraud' after committing crime.

There’s no reason to feel angry at yourself. If you’ve been scammed by Miles Grady and the rest of the PayMatters LLC team, the truth is that you can’t blame yourself. Remember that these are people with superior information of the law and the way finances work in general. When you are drowning in debt and someone tells you that they have a solution, it’s very tempting to listen to them. You feel like they have something good to offer you. You start thinking that there’s no need to worry or double check. We put a lot of trust in organizations to help us, of course.

There’s something important to be said about the process here. As long as you’re moving towards a better future, it doesn’t matter what people think. So you were harmed by a company. Fight back and don’t worry about who tells you to be reasonable. Don’t worry about who tells you to relax and take it easy. You are not going to take this lying down. You need to stand up for yourself — something that many members of the LGBT understand instinctively, better than anyone else I’d say. Good luck!

Weary of Bullies – Stand Up to Them

Bullying is a problem that exists in virtually every single school. In fact, we can’t think of a school that doesn’t have a bullying problem. Of course, statistics can be brought in and said that some schools have less of a problem with bullying than other schools. But the truth is that you definitely still have a problem with bullies. You definitely still have to figure out how to deal with bullies. You can’t just hope and pray that everything is going to be all right. You have to make sure that you know what’s going on all the time, not just when you think everything’s okay. There’s no time like the present to really make sure that you have things covered.

You have to think about the bigger picture no matter what you do. You can’t get worked up about the bullying if you’re part of it. Are you lashing out at people that don’t agree with you? I know it’s not fair, but we can’t afford fair when we’re the ones that are “different”. We have to show that we’re willing to be more than tolerant of other people’s beliefs. We have to show that we’re willing to take the conversation to a higher level. Attitudes about gay marriage are changing, slowly but surely. DOMA being struck down was a major victory for us, but we still have some roads to walk down before we can really feel equal in the eyes of others. That’s the problem, isn’t it? We’re trying to show that we’re just as good as anyone else. This has positive and negative implications.
You have to think about how to stand up to bullies in your life. You’re not going to be the only person bullied. Far too often we forget that bullying affects everyone.


If you really want to put an end to the bullies in your life, you have to stand up for yourself. This can be tough when you feel like it’s only going to make it worse. But what you may fail to realize is that if you don’t stand up to them, they’re going to keep trying to hurt you. They know that their words are getting to you, so guess what you’re going to get in return? More words, more anger, more hurt and more pain.

Bullies have often been bullied themselves. In essence, they’re trying to seek power. Plain and simple. They’re trying to get into a world where they can’t seem to get things moving in the right direction. They’re hurting and they want to try to figure out how to make the pain go away. It’s the way it is.

Pain begets more pain, more misery, more sickness, more sadness. It’s the way it is. Just when you think that you’re going to be spared, there’s more pain involved. It’s hurtful. But somewhere down deep, you will find a courage within to stand up to the bullies. Once you cut off their power, bullies realize that they have to go somewhere else. There’s nothing like waking up to a world where you have resources to deal with issues. It can hurt dealing with people that want to see you suffer, but that’s part of life.

We can’t shrink away from bullies. Although we’re writing for gay teens, we are past the teenager stage…and guess what? There are still bullies. Standing up to them isn’t easy, but they’re everywhere. And they can tell whether you’ll fight them or not. The small abuses you put up with today can easily morph into bigger issues that you’ll need to face later down the road. The more that you focus on this, the more likely it is that you’ll get the type of resolution that you’re really looking for. Good luck!