Top African American LBGT’s

August 19, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We try to include as much as we can from all across the LGBT spectrum, so why not a listing of some amazing black LGBT icons? They are truly world influencers and have put their own stamp on what it means to be gay and black at the same time.

1. Carolyn Mobley


Here is an interesting example of Christian mercy in motion. Carolyn Mobley was the first woman to co-chair the African-American Lesbian/Gay Alliance — it’s a smaller part of the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays. She was actually raised as a devout Christian, but get this…her church condoned her sexuality even though she was a Christian educator. The organization she served bridged the gap between the civil rights movement and the LGBT movement. Powerful!

2. Lorraine Hansberry


A lot of people were very shocked to find that yes, Lorraine Hansberry was indeed part of the LGBT community. She is the playwright and civil rights activist who wrote A Raisin in the Sun and gained immense popularity.

3. Josephine Baker


Red hot and wild in her heyday, Josephine Baker had it all — actor, singer, dancer, and all around entertainer. She fled to France in order to have more opportunities, but it didn’t stop her from becoming a worldwide sensation.

4. Sheryl Swoopes


A true LGBT icon in the sports world — she was the first woman that signed with the WBNA and paved the way for others to come after her. She has also won three Olympic gold medals and is an outspoken advocate of higher pay for female athletes around the sports world.

5. Wanda Sykes


While Ms. Sykes has only been openly gay in the media for a few years, she’s been a media darling for much longer than that. She is a stand up comedienne and an all around funny woman.

6. Andre Leon Talley


If you haven’t checked out Andre Leon Talley or know who he is, no problem! He is a top fashion icon in the industry, a man who has been a key part of Vogue and other fashion portals for many years. He is consulted, admired, and carries his own sense of style in a really big way. In his own way, he is also a spokesperson for the healthy at any size movement, given his proportions. He proves that you don’t have to be thin in order to be…well, fabulous!

Gays of color should have their own role models, because it can be hard to look into a community and not see anyone that looks like you. The black community has traditionally been very conservative and religious, which hasn’t always meant a lot of tolerance for its black gay youth and young adults. The tide is changing though, thanks to the stylish, powerful, and influential black LGBT’s of the past, present, and most certainly the future.

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Why Yes, Gay Bullying Still Matters!

July 30, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Some people have declared gay bullying a non-issue. While it would be tempting to toss names around and blame, we’re not going to take that road. Instead, we’re just going to give you our perspective. Long time fans of the site should already know, but hey — we never mind repeating ourselves on such a strong issue.

You see, bullying is something that affects everyone, and guess what — that doesn’t change when the target is a gay guy or gay girl. It makes it even worse because we’re so aware now of the discussion, and they are aware that the entire world is looking at them.


It’s not just about the mental effects of bullying — it’s the social effect as well. When you’ve been put down and put down and put down, you stop fighting. It’s very similar to a science experiment done with jumping fleas in a jar. If you trap fleas in there, they will try to jump out of the jar — even though they bump their heads. After a while though, they will stop fighting because they have been “taught” through their experiences that there’s no way out. They will eventually succumb to their environment and die, even if you were to unscrew the lid and try to set them free. Even seeing that the lid is no longer on the jar, they will not try to escape again — their will to fight has been stripped away.

While this might sound gruesome to some, it is an apt parallel to gay bullying. We’re looking at a nation of “fleas” that are getting very close to feeling like there’s no end in sight.

Some will argue that they are simply making an appeal to free speech. Is there a line to free speech? We have successfully demonized the actions of hate groups that have a racial focus — what about a sexual orientation focus?

The idea that it’s OK to demonize and speak out against gay youth merely on religious grounds — or to suggest that it can be “removed” through prayer is ridiculous. There’s just no other way to say it. It’s ridiculous, it’s hateful, and it sends our gay youth the message that as long as you can couch something in “beliefs”, it’s okay to use it against other people.

We all have to share this planet and until people truly get that, we are going to have to deal with gay bullying. We’re going to have to deal with gay suicide. We’re going to have to deal with gay teens feeling like they might as well lock themselves away from the world because no one will accept them.

This is not just an issue for gay people — it’s an issue for all people. Would you want someone to sit on the sidelines as you are mocked for your race, gender, or your background? Not at all. So why, as a nation, are we still so deeply divided on this issue?

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Famous Gays You Need to Check Out, Part 1

July 4, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We like to highlight famous and influential people in the LGBT community for a few different reasons. The biggest reason is that many gay teens feel alone, as if they are the only people out there that have these feelings. You’re not alone, and there are plenty of people that feel the same way you do. The more you realize that, the better you’ll feel about coming out as a gay teen or young adult.

Here’s the list.

1. Andy Cohen


Andy Cohen is a television executive, widely known for his work with the Bravo cable television network. He hosts Watch What Happens Live, a show that millions of people tune into every night.

Cohen is also a recurring commentator on CNN and he’s even co-hosted Live with Regis & Kelly.

2. Tila Tequila


Say what you want about Tila, she definitely knows how to get around in the world. She is a force to be reckoned with! She became the first Asian woman Playboy cover model.

She’s had a hit reality TV show — A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and she’s true MySpace royalty.

She is open about her bisexual life, including being supportive of her now deceased partner, Casey Johnson.

3. Bryan Singer


Bryan Singer is definitely gay, definitely famous, and definitely focused on a bright and shining career! He is a huge comic book fan who is behind X-Men and X2. He’s a Jewish New Yorker as well, and has been proud to come out as a gay man. He’s also behind popular TV series as House MD and is also backing Superman Returns and Logan’s Run.

4. Neil Patrick Harris

How can we have a listing of gay celebs without covering Neil Patrick Harris? He is absolutely adorable and a total nerd! He is an actor famous for a lot of different roles, including Dougie Howser, M.D and his role in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.

He’s hosted the Emmy Awards and has no plans of slowing down at all.

5. Portia de Rossi


The incredibly hot wife of Ellen DeGeneres has an acting career in her own right. She was a force to be reckoned with on Ally McBeal, and she is also a well known and recognized spokesperson.

There are a lot of great gay celebrities out there, and we’re not done showcasing them yet — consider this a five part series designed to put a smile on your face. Remember, you are definitely not alone!

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Mythbusting Time – You Can Be Young, Gay, and Healthy!

June 30, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We hate myths online, especially when we know that today’s curious gay youth are going to be looking at things in a completely different manner than the older generation of gays would. You have to make sure that you keep your own personal corner of the world bright, because there are people that will try to take things away from you. There are indeed people that will try to ruin your day. You have to fight back against them because they don’t matter in the long run.

One of the top myths that are going around right now is that you can’t be healthy as a gay teen or young adult — that there are just too many things out there geared to making you sick.

The statistics just aren’t there. It is quite possible to live a long and healthy life as a gay teen — there are gay people in their 80′s and 90′s as well!

Their secret? They didn’t focus on “gay health” — just health. That’s something that we can all get behind, right? So if you’re a young gay teen trying to figure out how to actually stay healthy, here’s a few more tips for you to do that.


First and foremost, you’re going to want to step away from processed food. The facts on GMO (genetically modified organisms) in our food are sketchy, but more evidence is coming out that we may need to be concerned. Instead of panicking, it’s better to make sure that you choose foods that are local to you that grow in season.

You may also have food intolerances that you haven’t even guessed about. For example, you might be lactose intolerant. Think about how you feel after you eat certain foods. Going on an elimination diet can help you pinpoint foods that make you feel great, and foods that don’t. If you remove dairy and find that adding it back causes stomach upset and bloating, then you have identified something that shouldn’t be part of your diet.

Not every allergy test will necessarily show that you have this food intolerance — but if you really start learning how to listen to your body, you can fight this.

Another point that you want to think about is getting regular exercise. Not exercising is something that has led to a host of new world diseases that many of our ancestry groups just didn’t have. Being able to get back in shape can be hard, especially if you’re seriously overweight. This is where a doctor can step in and build you a good program. Always get your blood work checked by a doctor before you start any type of program, especially a high intensity one. You don’t want to put more stress and strain on your body just in the name of weight loss.

Another area that you need to handle is your stress level as well as your sleep. We’re not saying that you have to give up on everything you love and go be a hermit in the woods, but there is something to be said about actually giving your body the rest and relaxation that it needs. Getting yourself in a better mood is also a must — do what makes you happy. Tuning out the opinions of people that don’t even like you is a much needed skill in today’s world, where everyone feels they have the right to tell you what to do with your life — even when they don’t even know you!

Take it easy, and you’ll be just fine — we promise!

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What Oreo’s Gay-Friendly Facebook Post About Pride Really Means for Today’s Gay Youth

June 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We’re angry today. You see, on the 25th of June Oreo made a statement on their Facebook page about Gay Pride and how love has no limits. That’s the real message that they were trying to present. We really liked the rainbow cookie design as well — it was crisp, it was bold, and it was perfect.

This has to be one of our favorite messages from a big company, right up there with JCPenney’s gay-friendly Father’s Day ad — very nice. They also did a gay-friendly Mother’s Day ad as well.

Still, the commentary on the Facebook post in question heated up. Many with feelings against the gay movement made their feelings known, including wanting to boycott Oreo and Kraft in general.

The idea of boycotting such a large company is honestly laughable. If you were to boycott Kraft, there are early 50 other brands that you would also need to skip in your day to day shopping. Yes, we have other issues with Kraft Foods but today, it’s just time to reflect on what this means for the gay community.


Gay teens and young adults need big companies like Kraft to talk about the movement. They need to know that what they are going through is normal. They need to know that it is quite possible to really be able to live a normal, healthy life and not worry about anything else than their own happiness.

We’re not saying that anti-gay commenters don’t have a right to their opinion. This is a free world where opinions can go both ways. America was built on free speech — but hate speech is different. You can express yourself without putting down another person. Gays have heard it all at this point, and it’s no surprise that they’re tired of being told to be quiet.

More companies are going to come out with their own Pride friendly slogans and messages for multiple reasons.

One reason is that the “gay dollar” is growing in power as well. Businesses have their agenda, let’s be honest: gays are buying and they have spending power. Upsetting such a large and growing segment of the population that is moving up in terms of status, income, and representation is a bad idea.

It’s not just pleasing gays — but also supporters of the gay movement. We are proud that our straight friends support our right to be happy, to be in love, and to be free as humans. Companies know that if they go against the gay movement too much longer, they’re going to lose straight customers.

Many of the comments were very hurtful, but they are very typical. So in the end, what does this really mean for the gay community? It simply means that you must look closely at what people really say…and ignore every last bit of it.

We’re serious. There’s no reason to let anti-gay comments stick to you. You might feel scared and alone out there, but you’re not. Don’t focus on the negative comments — focus on all of the great comments that came through the page. Focus on the number of shares that the post in question had. That’s the best way to face this head on. Don’t be afraid — you’re surrounded by more love than you can possibly imagine!

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How Do Same-Sex Couples Treat Their Tax Returns

May 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Trying to plan for a same sex partnership is already difficult, but the pressure of tax season makes it even worse. As much as you love being with your partner, you probably have a hard time dealing with the trouble brewing around your income taxes. Even if you live in a state that recognizes same sex marriage or domestic partnership, you will still have to deal with federal tax issues. The state tax returns are based off of federal tax return information. And thanks to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the government does not recognize same-sex marriage nationwide, and neither does the IRS. So this means that couples cannot file jointly, which is definitely making tax life complicated. Same sex couples have to shell out a lot more money to be protected, which takes away money from the shared household.

And community property states mean even more complications. Many couples fear their returns being rejected because all of the numbers don’t match up all of the time. The preparer has to use a mock joint federal tax return, then use the “mock” return to prepare a joint state tax return. There’s still the danger of things being rejected, but it’s a risk many couples just have to take.


Refunds are also not very quick. Most same sex couples have to file paper returns, which slows down their refund dramatically — some couples have even had to wait nearly 10 months just to get their return. That’s a very long time, and it can really add up when you’re trying to really get bigger things done in your life.

Everything seems higher — health insurance costs, tax preparer costs, and the time that you have to wait for your refund. However, there are some light at the end of the tunnel. This is a problem that’s spiraling out of control, and many advocacy groups are now fighting hard for change sin tax legislation. So there could come a day where taxes flow as smoothly as they do for heterosexual married couples.

Is it possible? Yes. Will change come slowly? It often does. Hang in there!

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Break Up – Keep Going With Life as a Gay Teen

April 29, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.


First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Do You Need Formal Gay Marriage In Your Life

April 25, 2012 by Leave a Comment

One of the most contentious issues in society is the subject of gay marriage. When you’re just coming out, you might wonder about gay marriage yourself. Even if you’re far away from the topic of marriage you still want to make sure that it’s something that you can actually do.

Not every state offers gay marriage of domestic partnership. Keep in mind that these definitions and terms are representations of legal representation — not life representation.

In other words, if you meet someone that you truly do want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t just discount them because the state that you live in doesn’t recognize gay marriage. There is so much more to life than a piece of paper, or even the “acknowledgement” that comes from being able to say that the other person is your legal spouse. There are straight people getting married that don’t necessarily have a good union, either.


The truth is that humans will always want to do the things that truly make them feel connected. If you want to get married, you can indeed go to Canada or another state that handles gay marriage. If it’s important to have the recognition from another authority, then you definitely should explore this. However, you will need to ensure that you think about the life side of things as well.

Getting someone that cares about you is the much harder road to climb. It takes work to be a gay couple, especially if you don’t live in a community that’s especially supportive. Both of you will have to look at each other and really decide if this is what you both want to do.

And if it’s not, that’s not a comment about gay relationships. It’s just a reality — two people that didn’t work out together. A lot of newly “out” gay teens get into relationships and think that they have to be with their “one true love” right away and they’re a failure if they don’t do that. This is just not true at all. If you want happiness, you have to do what makes you happy in the moment. We’re never guaranteed anything like happiness.

It’s all about what we really fight for, what we really desire, and what we’re really willing to do to get what we want.

The subject of gay marriage will forever have its share of supporters as well as detractors — even within the GLBT community. You just need to figure out how to be happy through all seasons and everything else will really fall into place. Get out there and experience the best that life has to offer today!

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Do You Need To Tell a Landlord that You’re Gay

April 23, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Your first apartment is a pretty exciting milestone in your life. There’s just no other way to say it. Having an apartment means that you’re on your way to some big and bright things, and that’s nothing to sneeze at! However, if you’ve come out proudly as a member of the gay community, you might wonder if you have to tell anyone — like your landlord.

Talking to the person that can legally evict you from their property is a pretty scary thought, especially when you’re young. Here’s a few things that you will want to definitely keep in mind.


Just because you don’t physically own the home doesn’t mean that you don’t have rights. If you’re at all worried about renting opportunities in your area, you will need to look up the tenancy laws for your state. That covers what the landlord can and cannot do. They cannot just evict you because you are openly gay. They can however evict you if you damage the property or do not pay your rent or even have someone living there who is not on the lease as a tenant or an occupant. That’s something that you might forget about, but we can promise you that your landlord will not just forget about it. So you have to make sure that you have your wits about you at every turn.

If you do have a conflict with your landlord, make sure that you keep a log of what happened, the date that it occurred, and also what actions you took to try to resolve the problem. Everything involving your landlord should be in written form as well as just a phone conversation. You need to do this because if you don’t you’ll have problems getting your natural rights as a tenant.

If you are looking at a new apartment, you can have a conversation with the landlord. Let them know that you are a good and clean person who just wants somewhere to live. Money talks more than anything else — if you’re someone that pays their bills, then what you do in your personal life is up to you. There’s no legal requirement to inform your landlord of your life as a gay person. Even if you have guests over to spend the night occasionally, that doesn’t mean that they are now occupants. You have to read your lease and make sure that you know exactly what your fights really are.

Are you ready to look for an apartment right now? The internet is really your best connection unless you live in a very small town. Then you will need to look at the newspaper. Either way, we wish you the best of luck!

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Getting Into the College Experience As a Gay Freshman

April 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Going off to attend college should be a pretty exciting time. You’re taking the time to really invest in the business of you, and who can really say that it’s a bad thing for you to do that. Once you come out as a gay teen and then go to college, you’re going to be switching environments. Even in the most conservative cities, the college environment is pretty liberal. You’re going to find people from all over the world and from many different walks of life. You’re going to need to let go of any past thoughts or worries keeping you from living the life that you really want. Here’s what you need to consider.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that your roommate is going to be gay. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to suddenly be something different. You should probably just let them know the things that you would want anyone else to know. If they aren’t comfortable with your partner coming to spend time with you at the room, there are plenty of other places to hang out on campus. As you get used to campus life, you’ll be able to find more places to hang out. And there is almost most certainly a gay hangout as well as a group that does programming specifically for the gay community.


If someone is trying to hurt you because you’re gay, you have even more options. Crimes against gay people are hate crimes, plain and simple. But most people won’t take it to that level. There may b ea level of cattiness that is too difficult to ignore. In that case, you will definitely want to make sure that you’re focusing on the bigger picture. Is your education worth ignoring the voices of people that are being ignorant of your basic human rights? Yes, it is. That’s not to say that you should let go of everything, but there are some basics that probably don’t really need to be addressed if you need more time.

There is always a good time to stand up for yourself. There is always a good time to draw a line in the sand and live the life that you’ve always wanted to live.

But there is also a point where you just have to let go and embrace the opportunities that you have around you. There’s never going to be a perfect situation where everything goes the way that you want to. Instead of chasing that, you should look at the opportunities that you do have to connect with people that can help you build a vibrant career after you graduate! Good luck and have fun!

Filed Under: Education Tagged With: ,
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