Break Up – Keep Going With Life as a Gay Teen

April 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Life as a teen is hard regardless of your sexual orientation, but the truth is that life as a gay teen is pretty rough. The relationship department can really throw you for a loop. One minute you feel like you’re with someone that truly understands you, the next minute you feel like everything is truly hopeless and you don’t know what to do with your life to make it better. There’s nothing that says that you have to figure out what’s going to happen for the next 50 years of your life right away — you’re still very young!

If you are going through a breakup as a gay teen, here’s a few things to think about as you try to put your life back together.


First and foremost, don’t give in to gossip. There’s always going to be gossip flying around you, and that’s not something that you can use to heal properly. You’ll always feel a little embarrassed because people around you will have seen you so happy, but when you break up you’re going to be sad. Allow yourself to take full ownership of your feelings. Allow yourself to really feel like you have things put together fine. Don’t give in to the feeling of having to explain yourself. Even if there was an explanation, is that really what you want your ex to hear?

Yes, that’s right — if you try to give in to gossip and explain yourself, the news will eventually get back to your ex. That’s just going to cause more arguments that you don’t need. Who really wants to go through that? Who really wants to feel like their ex is out in the streets talking about them behind their back?

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. If that means that you don’t see your ex, then that’s fine. You just need to do what’s right for you first.

There may even be some critics that will sue your break up as evidence that gay relationships don’t work. These are the last people that you should feel like you have to please. Don’t even believe that for a minute. Just because a gay relationship fails doesn’t mean that all of them will fail.

You might be tempted to cover up your emotions by having wild and crazy sex with another gay person but that’s not going to help you either. You will just need to make sure that you go into every situation by choice rather than feeling like this is the next thing that you should do. There’s no real time limit for “moving on” — for some people it takes mere days, others weeks and some even take months. There’s no right or wrong here, just the best roadmap to heal yourself!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Do You Need Formal Gay Marriage In Your Life

April 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

One of the most contentious issues in society is the subject of gay marriage. When you’re just coming out, you might wonder about gay marriage yourself. Even if you’re far away from the topic of marriage you still want to make sure that it’s something that you can actually do.

Not every state offers gay marriage of domestic partnership. Keep in mind that these definitions and terms are representations of legal representation — not life representation.

In other words, if you meet someone that you truly do want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t just discount them because the state that you live in doesn’t recognize gay marriage. There is so much more to life than a piece of paper, or even the “acknowledgement” that comes from being able to say that the other person is your legal spouse. There are straight people getting married that don’t necessarily have a good union, either.


The truth is that humans will always want to do the things that truly make them feel connected. If you want to get married, you can indeed go to Canada or another state that handles gay marriage. If it’s important to have the recognition from another authority, then you definitely should explore this. However, you will need to ensure that you think about the life side of things as well.

Getting someone that cares about you is the much harder road to climb. It takes work to be a gay couple, especially if you don’t live in a community that’s especially supportive. Both of you will have to look at each other and really decide if this is what you both want to do.

And if it’s not, that’s not a comment about gay relationships. It’s just a reality — two people that didn’t work out together. A lot of newly “out” gay teens get into relationships and think that they have to be with their “one true love” right away and they’re a failure if they don’t do that. This is just not true at all. If you want happiness, you have to do what makes you happy in the moment. We’re never guaranteed anything like happiness.

It’s all about what we really fight for, what we really desire, and what we’re really willing to do to get what we want.

The subject of gay marriage will forever have its share of supporters as well as detractors — even within the GLBT community. You just need to figure out how to be happy through all seasons and everything else will really fall into place. Get out there and experience the best that life has to offer today!

Filed Under: Other Tagged With: ,

Do You Need To Tell a Landlord that You’re Gay

April 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Your first apartment is a pretty exciting milestone in your life. There’s just no other way to say it. Having an apartment means that you’re on your way to some big and bright things, and that’s nothing to sneeze at! However, if you’ve come out proudly as a member of the gay community, you might wonder if you have to tell anyone — like your landlord.

Talking to the person that can legally evict you from their property is a pretty scary thought, especially when you’re young. Here’s a few things that you will want to definitely keep in mind.


Just because you don’t physically own the home doesn’t mean that you don’t have rights. If you’re at all worried about renting opportunities in your area, you will need to look up the tenancy laws for your state. That covers what the landlord can and cannot do. They cannot just evict you because you are openly gay. They can however evict you if you damage the property or do not pay your rent or even have someone living there who is not on the lease as a tenant or an occupant. That’s something that you might forget about, but we can promise you that your landlord will not just forget about it. So you have to make sure that you have your wits about you at every turn.

If you do have a conflict with your landlord, make sure that you keep a log of what happened, the date that it occurred, and also what actions you took to try to resolve the problem. Everything involving your landlord should be in written form as well as just a phone conversation. You need to do this because if you don’t you’ll have problems getting your natural rights as a tenant.

If you are looking at a new apartment, you can have a conversation with the landlord. Let them know that you are a good and clean person who just wants somewhere to live. Money talks more than anything else — if you’re someone that pays their bills, then what you do in your personal life is up to you. There’s no legal requirement to inform your landlord of your life as a gay person. Even if you have guests over to spend the night occasionally, that doesn’t mean that they are now occupants. You have to read your lease and make sure that you know exactly what your fights really are.

Are you ready to look for an apartment right now? The internet is really your best connection unless you live in a very small town. Then you will need to look at the newspaper. Either way, we wish you the best of luck!

Filed Under: Other Tagged With: ,

Getting Into the College Experience As a Gay Freshman

April 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Going off to attend college should be a pretty exciting time. You’re taking the time to really invest in the business of you, and who can really say that it’s a bad thing for you to do that. Once you come out as a gay teen and then go to college, you’re going to be switching environments. Even in the most conservative cities, the college environment is pretty liberal. You’re going to find people from all over the world and from many different walks of life. You’re going to need to let go of any past thoughts or worries keeping you from living the life that you really want. Here’s what you need to consider.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that your roommate is going to be gay. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to suddenly be something different. You should probably just let them know the things that you would want anyone else to know. If they aren’t comfortable with your partner coming to spend time with you at the room, there are plenty of other places to hang out on campus. As you get used to campus life, you’ll be able to find more places to hang out. And there is almost most certainly a gay hangout as well as a group that does programming specifically for the gay community.


If someone is trying to hurt you because you’re gay, you have even more options. Crimes against gay people are hate crimes, plain and simple. But most people won’t take it to that level. There may b ea level of cattiness that is too difficult to ignore. In that case, you will definitely want to make sure that you’re focusing on the bigger picture. Is your education worth ignoring the voices of people that are being ignorant of your basic human rights? Yes, it is. That’s not to say that you should let go of everything, but there are some basics that probably don’t really need to be addressed if you need more time.

There is always a good time to stand up for yourself. There is always a good time to draw a line in the sand and live the life that you’ve always wanted to live.

But there is also a point where you just have to let go and embrace the opportunities that you have around you. There’s never going to be a perfect situation where everything goes the way that you want to. Instead of chasing that, you should look at the opportunities that you do have to connect with people that can help you build a vibrant career after you graduate! Good luck and have fun!

Filed Under: Education Tagged With: ,

Don’t Stress – Gay Life Can Still Be Exciting!

April 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

When you first come out, it feels like you’re really stepping into a whole new world. The truth is that you are but there’s nothing at all wrong with this. In fact, it’s a good thing that you’re trying to find out the things that you like, rather than just hiding part of your identity.

That’s what it really is, honestly — your gay life is truly part of your identity. There is nothing in the world wrong with being gay, and it’s important that you realize that one little fact. If you take nothing else from this exercise, we hope that you take that.

The biggest thing that newly ‘outed’ gay teens need to realize is that gay life can indeed still be exciting. It’s not like the gay culture just came out of nowhere. The truth is that there are deep roots being drawn out to the surface everyday to the public. The gay culture scene has been strong in its own way since the turn of the century, with many historical references to homosexuality.


Some of the greatest writers of our modern era were gays, and they are remembered to this day for the contributions that they have made to our society as a whole.

However, you’re looking for things that you can do right now to enjoy gay life. No problem!

One of the top things that you can do is find others in your area that are doing cool things. Just because you recently come out as a confident gay teen doesn’t mean that the rest of life is going to stop. There are plenty of gays that have common interests with you — you just need to reach out and do what you’re going to do.

Gay nightclubs are popular, as well as gay vacation cruises and just about everything that you can think of. If you’re already into going out to see a play or another theater performance, you’ll definitely find other gays to connect with.

Good relationships are built on good friendships. Don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to get with someone just because they’re gay — there are just way too many gay people waiting to get to know you!

As a newly “out” teen, you may be going through a lot of different emotions. There’s no need to fight those emotions at all. You just need to dig down deep and realize that there’s really nothing at all to fear. There’s nothing at all to worry about. There’s nothing at all to run from. You’re just open about your sexual orientation and that’s it.

Are you ready to get started with the rest of your life? Then dig in, because gay life can be more exciting than you’ve ever imagined!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Bullies At School Have No Right to Hurt You – Fight Back!

April 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment

The high school environment is such a hard time for everyone. It feels like you always have to try to prove yourself, try to get people to see the goodness that you carry around naturally, and honestly just try to get from one point to the other without losing your pride completely. Instead of feeling like you just can’t seem to make things do what you want them to do, it’s time to start thinking about the wider world of fighting for what matters most to you.

Yes, there are going to be some challenges. There are going to be people that honestly feel like they don’t have to be good to you because of your sexual orientation. While it’s true that we’ve written about this before, it’s important that you really understand this point more than anything else — no one has the right to hurt you. Words hurt. Physical confrontations hurt. And if you feel that your life is in danger, you will need to find someone that can help you get the problem taken care of.


Of course, if you haven’t come out yet, you might feel like this is going to expose you. It may do that, but the truth is that many people probably already know that you’re gay. Do you really want to risk people hurting you and causing you physical pain if you’re truly being threatened? Not at all.

What you’re going to have to honestly do is make sure that you fight back from the beginning.

Talk to a teacher and let them know that you are being bullied and you are worried. By law, they have to make sure that they acknowledge the threat and deal with it accordingly. If your teacher doesn’t seem to want to help, you can go to the department chair or the principal’s office and let them know what’s happening.

We live in a culture where some people believe that this is “snitching” and it’s wrong, but what’s more wrong is having someone take your life when you’ve done nothing remotely wrong at all.

Bullies by their very nature are extremely insecure, and they’re fighting their own battles. Yet that doesn’t mean that they get to do whatever they want. The more proactive you are about the bully issue, the easier it will be to make sure that you get to enjoy your high school years to the fullest.

Even if you’re not ready to come out yet, you’re going to find that there are actually quite a few people that would be more than happy to help you when you least expect it. Don’t feel like you can’t reach out and get help when it’s time to get help.

Otherwise, you’ll always feel like it’s impossible to move on with your life. Bullying is something that definitely leaves a mark on just about everyone it touches. There’s no reason that you should feel the need to let it affect you at all. Why not look at your support team today and see just how you can fight bullying on your own terms?

Once you grow to a level where you’re comfortable with yourself, you will truly be glad that you took the time to take this very important step!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Your First Gay Relationship – Here’s How to Work it Out!

April 11, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Ah, love is such a wonderful thing! When you’re a gay teenager trying to feel your way through relationships, you might have a lot of thinking to do. You see, relationships are already tough as it is, then you have to also think about the gay element, so to speak. Let’s say that you find someone that you really like — you’re going to immediately think about whether or not they’re gay or straight. That can be frustrating, because you don’t want to be a walking stereotype. However, if you never take risks you’re not going to be able to find anyone and that’s not very fun either.

So, where do you go from here? Well, it depends on your approach to life in general. You might be someone that actually wants to do more internet dating, where you can really practice your responses. There are plenty of sites that cater to gay teens and young adults.

On the other hand, you might be more old fashioned. You can always look into where the local gay community hangs out and then follow suit. Hanging out in places where there are a lot of new gay people to meet and socialize with can easily lead you to someone wonderful to spend time with.

However, what if you’re already in a relationship? No problem! What you have to do from here is remember that the principles of good communication don’t care if you’re gay or straight. You’ll need to make sure that you follow these guidelines if you’re really going to have a good time with the person that matters most to you. Don’t mask problems with affection — no amount of sexual activity in the world can clear trouble. Yet you’ll soon learn that good conversation can stop a lot of problems before they get out of hand.

You should know where you stand with someone. Are they serious about you to the point where you are meeting the people that matter most to them? Do you guys hang out with each other’s friends? If not, you might find that you’re with them only in secret. That’s not a good feeling at all, and if you’re bothered by it that’s completely understandable. On the other hand, you shouldn’t feel like you have to be completely open with someone that you don’t know all that well. It’s just a matter of figuring out what your comfort zone is and going from there.

What more could you really ask for in a partner? There are quite a few things that you would do well to ask about, but you don’t have to rush through it. There’s nothing that says that you have to rush through anything that seems too “heavy”. It’s okay to have fun, especially when we’re talking about your first relationship.

Make sure that you try to work out problems before they morph into serious issues. That can’t be stressed enough.

The future looks bright for gay teens, especially as the movement has gained so much stability. You have plenty of GLBT people making good money and being in the public eye, and society at large has realized that gay people are still people who deserve love and happiness — that’s a start, right? Don’t give up on love or even just having a good time — there’s just too many opportunities out there waiting for you!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Do You Really Need to Come Out At Work?

April 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Your first job is a pretty nervous time whether you’re gay or straight, but the truth is that it’s a different world when you’re entering it as a young gay adult. You feel like everyone knows that you’re gay and just own talk about it, or you might feel that your sexual orientation will keep you from getting promoted at work. So we wanted to cover the big question that you’re probably wondering, and give you a few more pieces of advice about the working world as a gay person.

First and foremost, if you’re worried about your workplace environment, you will need to find someone that you trust to talk about it. In the corporate world, this is almost certainly an HR person. You have to make sure that you know the corporate culture as it stands, rather than what you think the corporate culture should indeed stand for. This might get a little bit tricky but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Worried about coming out to HR? Don’t — the role of human resources is to understand personnel management, and you are probably not the first gay person that the HR professional has encountered. If they are older than you and have been at the company longer, they can easily become a mentor to you as you try to navigate through the twists and turns of the corporate jungle.

As far as your boss and working team go, there’s no reason to tell them that you’re gay if you can tell that they would have a problem. You have to remember that it’s all about your comfort and your ability to produce good work for the company. Your manager will not be judging you as a gay person, they’re going to be judging you as an asset of the company, and scoring you accordingly. If you are a graphic designer and you put out good work that makes the company money, then that’s what they’re going to look at you about. On the other hand, if you are so caught up in the gossip mill about your sexual orientation that you don’t think about anything else, you might find that people really are going to have problems with you at work. That’s not a good thing and it can easily have you out of work very quickly!

The biggest takeaway here is that you need to focus on your professional goals. Where do you want to be in six months? A year? Five years? Think about the people in the company that can really help you reach those goals.

If there are issues at work, you’re going to want to make sure that you reach out to people that can get the problem stopped. No one in the world has the right to bully you, so don’t forget that!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With: , ,

The Future Looks Bright for Gay Teens!

April 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If you’re just coming out and you feel like you’re all alone, this guide is for you. The more we write about issues in the gay teen community, the more we realize that there are just some classic themes that need to be expanded. You see, the future really does look bright for gay teens. However, when you’re caked in the negativity of others, you might not always be able to see it.

Allow us to make things shine a little clearer for you. The road to being comfortable in your own skin starts with realizing that other people are the ones that have the problem, not you. You might run into people that have to let you know how much you disapprove of their lives. You might disapprove of a lot of things, but we doubt that you’re just itching to warn everyone about the “dangers” of their lifestyle, are you? Probably not.

So what you need to do from here is to make sure that you look at the things that you want. If you want a job that pays well and offers benefits that are gay friendly, you can find that.

If you want to find gay friendly travel destinations, you can definitely do that. It’s just a matter of figuring out what you want. When you first come out, it’s a good idea to come out to someone that can help you as you make all of these decisions.

This is a very hard time in your life, but it is one that you will eventually get through. Many people that came out when they were teenagers have found that the people that had the biggest problem with them have realized that life is just too short to hate someone so much to the point where you don’t speak to them. It’s better to embrace the person they are and just deal with the other parts that might not be as “tolerable”.

If we didn’t stress it enough, let us say it again – there is nothing wrong with coming out as a gay teenager. With the rise of the Internet, you have more and more options of getting out there to meet people that are also in the same boat as you. Once you find other gay teens, you’ll realize just how common this all really is!

Don’t just stay online. Don’t just read about all of the fun that other gay teens are having. Don’t just sit on Facebook and think about what you could do if you just could meet someone that thought like you, at least a little bit.

Go out there and take chances. You only get one chance at life and if you wait till the end of your days to really experience love and happiness, you’ll regret it. There are plenty of opportunities for gay teenagers and young adults — you just have to get out there and check things out for yourself. With only one life to live, what are you waiting for? Start today!

Filed Under: Gay Teen Tagged With:

Handling Your Finances As a Gay Teenager

April 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Going to college or even just going out into the real world can be scary for any teenager, but there are other issues at stake when you are a gay teen. Let’s face it — people are indeed going to look at you differently. You will need to make sure that you really go out of your way to ensure that you take care of things in a way that makes sense for your life and no one else’s. You don’t want to find that you can’t get into the apartment that you want or even the job you want because you don’t have money.

Thinking about your finances is something that matters because no one else will do it for you. In fact, a lot of people will assume that they can take advantage of you if you don’t have a specific plan — don’t give into this at all!

If you want to make sure that you are financially stable to the best of your ability, you’ll need to make sure that you build a plan that’s going to help you get that done. The last thing that you want to do is find that you have no plan and you don’t know of anyone that can actually. help you do that.

Here’s what you need to know.

If you’re going to be with someone, you should realize that they have no legal right to your money. Even if they say that they want to be with you and become domestic partners, that doesn’t mean that your money is suddenly their money. This is something that happens sometimes in the gay community, but it doesn’t have to happen to you.

If you are going to live with someone, you need to make sure that all of your expectations and guidelines are spelled out. If you try to just stick to the honor system, you will eventually find someone that will hurt you. That’s not a good thing at all, and you need to make sure that you focus on the bigger picture. No one is going to fight harder for you than, well, YOU!

When you don’t have any credit but you have a job, you shouldn’t be surprised to find that you will indeed find many credit offers circling around you. That’s not to say that they aren’t a good thing to check out. In case of an emergency, credit is a decent source to tap. It’s obviously not the best source to tap but it can be a good hedge in a hurry. It’s often better than payday loans, because the interest rate is a lot lower.

So, where do you go from here? Get a pen and paper and really write out the things that you want. Do you want a new car? Do you want a house? When do you want these things? The more detailed that you are, the more likely it is that you’re going to get the things that you want. There’s no reason in the world to think that you have to go without the things that matter to you — good luck out there and build the financial plan that meets YOUR needs!

Filed Under: Finances Tagged With: , ,
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »